Showing posts with label Dad Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dad Jokes. Show all posts

Monday, 7 September 2015

Our Outback Adventure On Father's Day

There was a time when Mickey Blue Eyes was quite the fan of the Sunday drive. We would all eagerly get into the car and set off on our Sunday adventure.

The mountains, the beach, the city. The World was our oyster. Or something. What does that expression even mean? Besides, oysters are gross. Shudders. Why couldn't the saying be 'the world was my cake'? MUCH better. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sunday drives...

Alas, the years have drifted on and the boys have gotten older. For some reason they are not as enthusiastic to schlep out for the day with their parents. I can't imagine why. I mean, we're completely fascinating and entertaining people, aren't we? Cutting edge, hip and cool type parents. Okay, maybe not...

Does any teen or tween ever think their parents are cool? Just the fact that we use the word 'cool' renders us to the totally lame pile. Everyone knows 'cool' stands for 'constipated, overweight old lady'. Duh.

Cue Fathers Day.

I figured that this would be a perfect opportunity for Mickey Blue Eyes to bribe entice the boys out for one of his whimsical magical mystery tours.

"Let's drive to the central coast and have fish and chips!" he exclaimed, upon waking up. There was a collective groan from all three boys.

"Okay, we'll go to Windsor instead," he bartered.

I shuffled into the shower. The sound of the doorbell rang through the pulsating water.

Two of the boys mates had shown up.  If they weren't interested before, they were certainly less so now.

The shower fog seeped into my mental fog and I suddenly remembered I should have given Mick  his present.  Once dressed, I put together our dodgy gifts in gift bag and woke up Mr 6 who groggily marched out and proffered it to his father. Mickey Blue Eyes looked at it in a dismissive fashion.

"You didn't have to get all that," he muttered.  It was only some booze, nuts and a five dollar mug from the school Fathers Day stall, but I pretended that it was a supreme sacrifice.

"That's okay," I said, hoping I looked all weary and worn out from the effort.

It didn't appear that we were going on the afore mentioned drive so I got straight into my five km run and shit tonnes of housework. Snorts. Just kidding! I settled in with a book and fell asleep. I woke up in a daze a short time later and Mick and the boys were taking the dog for a walk.

I rang my Dad to wish him a happy Fathers Day. I'd already seen him twice through the week. I reflected about how lucky I am to have my Dad.  Happy memories were in mind of all the tickles and stories and games of red light we played in the cul-de-sac where I lived growing up. He's also an excellent Grandpa. He and Mr 14, in particular have a strong bond with their shared passion for Manchester United.

My Dad also has some classic 'Dad Jokes' which he still treats my boys to.  

Joke Number 1:

Him: Want a lolly?
Child: Yes!
Him: Go to bed and kiss your dolly! BOOM TISH 

Joke Number 2:

Him: You know what?
Child: What?!
Him: You're mad and I'm not! 

I know, right?! You can see where I get my comic genius from.

After the phone call we had some lunch and pondered going out for dinner.  Outback Jack's here we come. Because CLASSY.

Mick decided to tease the boys by asking them if they were going to  have the crocodile or kangaroo. They weren't impressed. Yay for Dad jokes! See above.

Image credit: caption

We arrived at the restaurant, settled into our booth and ordered. The boys were bored witless almost immediately. This led to us dropping some serious coin into one of those chocolate machine contraption things. There was a whole shit tonne of enticing chocolates and treats perched perilously on the edge just waiting to be pushed over. It looked so easy. It wasn't. Eight or so bucks later all we had was one pathetic Freddo which was dropped when opened. Awesome. 

Our food arrived. I can only say one thing; the burgers are better at Hungry Jacks.  In fact, the burgers are better anywhere except Outback Crap. 

As we left the restaurant it was raining and Mr 14 wanted to navigate us home. It's a charming game that he and Mick play. Mr 14 gives directions which take us around the World before we finally arrive home.

Consequently, we did end up going one of Mickey Blue Eyes' entertaining Sunday drives. This also involved one of his little touches called 'here we go round the roundabout a million times until everyone feels nauseous'. Okay, it was only about three times around each roundabout, but that's enough to make me nauseous. Fortunately there were no other cars including a police one around, or the night would have become even more interesting... 

Thus ended our entertaining Fathers Day of 2015. Fun times. 

Image credit:

Linking up with Kirsty, Alicia and Eva

How do you celebrate Father's Day?