Monday, 19 February 2018

February Is...


February is...

The shortest month of the year. Consequently it's often the month my dad chooses to go on a diet. He should probably trademark it and sell it. The February Diet. But I'm guessing somebody already has anyway...

February is...

Tricky to spell. Who knew there was a rogue 'r' in there? Okay, only me. Oops. 

February is...

The last month of summer.(If you live in Australia, that is.) Hallelujah! Cue glorious uplifting music. I am SICK of the heat and humidity. SICK OF IT, I tell you! Of course it won't be long before I am complaining about the cold. I like to be consistent in some things. I'm a very consistent weather whinger. Winning! 








February is...

When you're smashing all your resolutions and goals full steam ahead feeling smug and strutting about like a peacock owning 2018 already in month number two. Except I'm not doing that. Oops. 

February is...

The month when I remember the passing of the late great Karen Carpenter. She left this earth 35 years ago on February 4th, 1983. 35 flipping YEARS?! *sobs* 






February is...

The month of lurrrrve, romance, hearts, flowers and all that mushy stuff. Not into it. That's surprising, yeah? But Mickey Blue Eyes did present me with some lovely chocolates from Aldi, and I didn't get him anything. Therefore I decided a Facebook photo with a lovey dovey frame would have to do. And that is what I like to call romance, people. 








February is...

A month in which I have done so many exciting things. Including:


  • Washing windows
  • Tidying the linen cupboard
  • Mopping floors
  • Washing truckloads of dishes
  • Folding vast mountains of clothes
  • Borrowing library books
  • Reading library books
  • Writing lists
  • Writing draft blog posts then never publishing them
  • Going to a shrink appointment
  • Going to a GP appointment
  • Going grocery shopping
  • Making beds
  • Cooking food
  • Eating food

And yeah, I think we're done with the bullshit bullet points. I'm sure you're all suitably jealous now. Snorts. 

February is...

The month after January. Conversely, it's also the month BEFORE March. I always feel the need to include a glaring Captain Obvious moment in my posts. Because why not?  January is my birthday month, so February is my one year and one month birthday. Or something. I don't know. I'm just making this up. 

What else have I been up to in this plodding fast-paced February? I'm glad you asked. The fact that you didn't is only a minor detail. I'll tell you anyway. You're very welcome. 

Recently I borrowed a book from the library called The Housewife's Handbook. See bullet list.  Inside, I found a newspaper clipping with a headline that went something like: "Fair distribution of assets when a marriage fails". 

Evidently someone who borrowed the book before me was also trying to be a top notch housewife. Until the day they decided, screw this, and promptly filed for divorce. I'd like to think that this woman (because only a woman would borrow such a book, I suspect) is now currently sunning herself on a beach in Greece a la Shirley Valentine. 

Meanwhile, I've been a contented little (or not so little) housewife of late. I've been merrily cleaning away. (Again, see bullet list). The other week, Mickey Blue Eyes, looking very concerned, asked me why. You'd think it was totally out of character or something!

Clearly he thought I'd either invited guests without telling him, or completely lost my marbles. Well, it definitely wasn't the former. So yeah, I'm wondering how long will it be before I wish to join my imaginary 'Shirley' on that beach? I think I'll keep Mickey Blue Eyes, though. Hopefully we'll get to that beach together at some point. 

In the meantime, farewell to you, February. Until we meet again. Same time next year. Can you please leave quietly and not incinerate us on your way out? Thank you. 

Now bring on March! 

What is February to you?

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6 comments:

  1. If you've been borrowing books and reading them, it's a successful month in my book! (Your para on 'promptly filing for divorce' is hilarious, btw. Last week someone posted that February is the most commonly misspelled month and I haven't been able to spell it correctly since...weird, hey.

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  2. I have a friend who goes "dry" in February (because it's the shortest month). I think he and your dad would get along well

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  3. You didn't specify if you'd eaten any cake.... :)

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  4. I gave myself the challenge of going on a Feb Fast...for clothes shopping which, ahem, was probably getting a little out of hand even though they were all on special!
    I so agree that February's weather stinks so it must have heard us and now, 20 Feb, we have a cool breeze and some rain. Nice! As for Karen's death being 35 years ago. Wow. Thank you for linking up to #lifethisweek 8/52. Next Week's Optional Prompt is Taking Stock - the list of word prompts is on the end of my Monday post.

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  5. Ahhh February, I've never been able to get that spelling right. Saying it is even worse. You overthink it and everything just goes to rubbish.

    Haha, what a fun find in the book. I imagine that woman on a beach too. Good luck to her. ;)

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  6. Lol! :D I actually don't mind Feb or summer. Not the humidity though. Didn't realise Karen Carpenter died before I was born. My parents enjoyed the Carpenters so I did grow up knowing the songs. Have a good rest of Feb and hope you smash some more bullet points! :D

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