Monday, 21 November 2016

News I Will Never Forget

Every now and again I emerge blinking and bewildered from my bubble. The little cocoon of obliviousness I have concocted in order to mosey along in this mad, mad world. 

Mostly (I'm ashamed to admit), I don't watch the news. It's a self-preservation thing. You see, I'm a bit wobbly. Beneath my placid exterior, lurks my familiar nemesis. That evil bitch known as anxiety. 

Unlike the skinny bitch inside me screaming to get out, whom I usually shut up with chocolate (BOOM, TISH), Anxiety Bitch is bit harder to tame. She screams. She lashes out. Pokes, prods and makes her evil presence known. I hate her. I'm still learning to let her rage on and not pay as much attention. It's working. Sorta, kinda.

Anyway, my point is, the news isn't my thing. For some reason it's all bad. Go figure. 

But there are certain things over the last 20 years or so that have busted into my bubble.

I do remember hearing about these things...

The Port Arthur Massacre

This was made even more horrific by the fact that Mickey Blue Eyes and I had been there just months prior while on our honeymoon. It could very easily have been us. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, you can read about it here. We visited again five years ago with the boys. It was already an eerie place, given it's history. Now it's unspeakably sad and sinister.  

The death of Princess Diana 

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar... 

No wait. That's an 80's song. Things get confusing when you're in and out of a bubble.

I was working in call centre for NRMA at the time. I was taking a call from a customer. Because that's what you do in that job, oddly enough. Which explains why I don't do it anymore. But I digress...

The woman on the phone was very distraught and informed me that the news of Princess Diana's death had just been reported on the news. Pretty soon everyone was talking about in it the office.  The mood was sombre. 


I was in 'Mother Of A Newborn Zombie Land' when this happened. I'd crashed early and managed to get some precious sleep. Mickey Blue Eyes came into the bedroom and woke me up beside himself. He said something about planes crashing into the World Trade Centre. I was just SO PISSED that he woke me. I failed to grasp the enormity of what was happening in my sleep deprived daze. Eventually I stumbled out to the living room. I watched the images on the screen in horror. 

The thought that echoed through my mind: What kind of a crazy arsed, fucked up world have I brought my beautiful, innocent baby into? 

Those were the things that pierced through my bubble. 

And of course recently there was the whole US election thing. I've never paid much attention in previous years, but it was kind of hard to miss it this time around. But I'm not saying another word about that. Nope. No way.

With the way 2016 has gone it won't be long until the next bit of batshit crazy news. There's still another week of November and the whole of December to get through... GULP.

If anyone needs me I'll be in my bubble. 

Linking up for Life This Week and Open Slather.

What news will you never forget? 

Friday, 18 November 2016

Taking Stock

Hello, gorgeous people! It's me again, popping up here whenever I feel like it! I accidentally typed 'pooping', but I changed it. Although that probably works, considering the general quality of posts here...

Related: I've finally done something I should have done YEARS ago. I signed up to do
 Blog With Pip and Blog Magic in a special two for one deal! 

Anyway, our week two assignment was this 'taking stock' thingy that I've seen around on lots of blogs.  

Too easy!  

On with the show....

Drum roll please!

Making : Everything super awkward. It's a special gift of mine!
Cooking : Dinner. Because the dinner fairy never shows up. Rude.
Drinking : Tea! Always tea. Even though it's warming up. 
Reading: Last Woman Hanged by Caroline Overington. Gruesome, but fascinating! 
Wanting: Equilibrium.
Looking: Like Kath from Kath n' Kim with my nanna curls. Noice. 

Playing: Eye spy with Mr 8. 
Deciding: Where and when to go on holidays. It will NOT be Dubbo. 
Wishing: I wasn't so anxious.
Enjoying: Getting black into exercise. Slowwwwwly. But getting there!

Waiting: For the kettle to boil. Helps if you plug it in I have discovered.  
Liking: Peace and quiet. I don't currently have any. But I would like it.
Wondering: Why I can't think of anything I'm wondering about right now, but at midnight when I should be sleeping, my mind will swirl with ALL THE THINGS.
Loving: My family. 
Pondering: See wondering.
Considering: What new template to put on this here blog. Well, in actual fact I did apply a new template (did anyone notice...?). Then I realised it doesn't look any different when viewed in mobile. Damn. So now I'm considering changing it again...  Decisions, decisions.  I am not good at them. Sigh. 
Watching: The Wrong Girl, Rosehaven and Please Like Me. 

Hoping: We get to go on that holiday. 
Marvelling: That I'm still relatively sane after the year I've had. OK, it's debatable...
Needing: Exercise! 
Smelling: Oranges.  
Wearing: My classy K-Mart attire. Be very jealous. 
Following: Um. I'm not a follower, I'm a... erm...

Not a leader either. Details.
Hmm, I dunno, haven't looked at Twatter in a while. Oh! But I signed up for Instagram, so hit me with your handles on there so I can follow YOU! 
Noticing: That time is on fast forward while I'd like to be on pause. 
Knowing: I am actually looking forward to Christmas instead of being all bah humbug! I know, right?! I don't even know who I am anymore. 
Thinking: Too much. Especially at midnight. See: Wondering and Pondering

Feeling: Blah, then brilliant. Then bored, then ebullient. Then bleak. And brilliant again. I'm a moody bitch. 
Admiring: My parents. They celebrated their 50th anniversary last week!
Sorting: Clothes. 
Buying: Birthday, anniversary and Christmas presents. 
Getting: Fat. Okay, fattER. Ahem. 

Bookmarking:  Um. Nothing comes to mind...
Disliking: Headaches. I had one for two days this week. Gah. 
Opening: My mouth. To eat too much food... See: Getting.
Giggling: At the cute things Mr 8 says.  
Snacking: On all those delicious summer fruits. The only good thing about summer. Nectarines and mangoes FTW! 
Coveting: Chocolate and cakies. What else? See: Opening and Getting
Wishing: That 2016 wasn't quite so WEIRD. 

Helping: Hmmmm. I tried to 'help' Mr 15 with an assessment. All I can say is I'm glad I'm not in high school anymore... 
Hearing: My stomach grumbling. Apparently it's lunch time. It always comes back to food with me, doesn't it? Oh dear. 

And that is me 'taking stock' on this fine day!

Wish me luck with the rest of the course(s). I need it! 

Linking up with Bloggers & Bacon for Archive Love.

What have you been opening and getting? Um, perhaps I should rephrase that...

How are you 'taking stock'? 

Monday, 14 November 2016

Are Exams Important?

 Hello, people! Welcome to another Monday! That glorious and beloved day of the week. People love Mondays! The same way they love root canal. Do you know what I'm saying?
Anyway, once again I am joining in the fun for Life This Week over at Denyse Whelan Blogs.  I missed it last week. Oops. 

Let's talk about exams! Simply because that's the prompt. Otherwise I wouldn't really talk about them. If I did I'd have two words: 


I say this because I wasn't very good at them. 

Case in point: it may be hard to believe it (if this blog is anything to go by), but English was one of my best subjects in high school. However, I failed English in my HSC!

My poor mother was so astonished and dumbfounded that she truly believed there must have been some kind of mistake. She insisted that we enquire into this grave injustice.

We wrote back to check. This was back in in 1988, the time of the old snail mail.  Subsequently, I received confirmation of my abysmal results. YAY! 


Every now again I still have hideous dreams (nightmares) that I'm back at school or doing exams. It's always such a relief to wake up!

Whenever I'm in a situation of being tested or having to think quickly on the spot, I can't seem to process it. It was exactly the same for me with job interviews. I'm not sure if it's an ASD thing or just a Ness thing. Either way, clearly I'm special. So very SPECIAL. 

I sometimes wonder if I'm doing the right thing as a parent, because I'm not pushy or demanding about exams or achievements. Sure, I want my boys to do their best, but I don't want them to be despondent if they don't or can't. The HSC and high school is not the be and end all of life! I don't think so, anyway. But then, I would, wouldn't I. Considering what I just revealed. Moving along...

Anyway, in my (admittedly limited) experience, no employer was ever the least bit interested in school or HSC results. I have no idea if this has changed these days. Has it? 

So that's my thoughts about exams! Deep, huh? Yeah, not really. It's obvious why I never became an academic. 

However, I feel like I should throw in an impromptu exam, just for shits and giggles. I should test YOU. But I know nothing. NOTHING!

Hang on, I know about The Carpenters!  

May I present to you the most IMPORTANT test you will ever take. 

 A Carpenters Pop Quiz: 

What were The Carpenters Christian names?: 

a) Richard and Linda.
b) Sharon and Darren.
c) Karen and Richard.

The Carpenters were one of the most successful pop music duos of all time. But how did they meet?

a) In college.
b) At the hairdressers, getting a bowl haircut.  
c) They were brother and sister!

How did they come up with the name "Carpenters"?

a) They were devoted Christians and Jesus was a Carpenter.
b) They loved woodworking
c) It was their family name. Duh. 

The Carpenters often referred to their music as being influenced by 'the three B's'. What/who were they referring to? 

a) Boring, banal, bland.*
b) Beethoven, Burt Bacharach and Barbra Streisand.
c) The Beatles, The Beach Boys and Burt Bacharach.

*(I don't think we can be friends anymore). 

Finish the lyric: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near...?

a) They sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue . 

b) Before the rising sun, we fly.
c) Just like me, they long to be, close to you. 

During the 1970s, The Carpenters were known for voicing THE ultimate burning question of that tumultuous decade. What was it?

a) Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby? 

b) Can't we stop hurting each other? 
c) All of the above. 

What instruments did the duo play?

a) None. They just pretended like all those dumb 70s pop groups.**
a) Glockenspiel and tambourine.
c) Piano and drums. 

**(You're pushing it).

In 1978 The Carpenters recorded a Christmas album. What was its title?

a) Christmas With The Carpenters.

b)  Merry Christmas, Darling.
c) Christmas Portrait. 

Karen Carpenter tragically died on February 4th, 1983 at just 32. How did she die? 

a) A plane crash.
b) Who cares?***
c)  Heart failure due to complications from anorexia nervosa.

***(You are officially dead to me). 

Which iconic pop star is responsible for this quote about Karen Carpenter: 
"I'm completely influenced by her harmonic sensibility."

a) Cher.
b) Michael Jackson.
c) Madonna. 

If you answered with all C's, then congratulations!

You scored A PLUS! 

As for the rest of you; take a good hard look at yourselves. What are you actually DOING with your lives?? Disgraceful! 

This is the most IMPORTANT exam! The rest are rubbish. 

You've been told. 

Now off you go and educate yourself about all things Carpenters! 

But before you go, just one tiny question...

What exactly DO 'normal' people think about and remember? Ahem.

Linking up for Life This Week. 

Also linking for  Open Slather and Mummy Mondays.

Do you think exams are important? You know, proper ones...? 

Images: Pexels; Pinterest

Saturday, 12 November 2016

10 Things I'll Be Remembered For

Hello again, dear readers! 

You forgot all about me? I'm sure that's not possible! Is it?

Of course not! Even when I'm no longer around, I'm sure I'll be remembered fondly by many of you. While I have no plans or intentions to go anywhere for a very long time, recent events have certainly got me thinking. 

Here's ten things I think I'd be remembered for: 


I'm always polite and nice to people. Even those who would never like me even if I gave them a small yacht and a lifetime supply of chocolate.That's just the way I am. I always think of that meme that goes around. The one about how everyone has some kind of internal struggle you know nothing about. So just be kind. Sometimes people refer to me as being sweet. It used to make me nauseous, but now I think it's a good thing. It's means I'll be remembered for a being a sweetheart. Okay, it is a teensy bit nauseating...


I don't make friends easily, but I'm very sincere and loyal once I do. And online friends count now, right? Otherwise I'm practically Nelly No Friends...


I'm as funny as a fungal toe nail in person. However, give me a device and an internet connection and you'll suddenly discover something about me you never previously noticed. I have a personality! Who knew? 


One day I will shuffle off this Earth for tea and cake in the sky. Hopefully, a very long time from now. But my boys will still be here.  And I expect they'll all be top blokes (I would say that, I'm their mother...). So I'm taking the credit for it, even in the grave. 


While my writing may never reach any grand or literary heights, I hope that I've been able to entertain and amuse SOMEONE out there. You're laughing WITH me, not AT me! Aren't you? 


I've gone from a fetching mullet-perm to an elegant poodle-perm. More recently I've been totally on trend, embracing the clown look. Furthermore, I can effortlessly segue into a foxy lady and channel Kath Day-Knight from Kath n' Kim. Noice. Unyewwwsual. 


Whenever you are trapped in some sort of easy listening hell you will ALWAYS remember me. For instance, you might be trapped in the dentist's chair.  A Carpenters song may echo eerily in the background as your jaw aches. And you will think of me. You know you will! And once again, you're totally welcome! 

Also, when I'm gone it will be your duty to honour me by eating ALL THE CAKE I can't have anymore.  You can't deny that it's a great legacy I will have left you. Use it wisely. 


I'm so quiet, there's a good chance you won't even notice I'm gone. Or maybe, just maybe, my resting bitch face will be curiously missed.  After all, a quiet, pleasant person (with a misleading resting bitch face) is preferable to some one who is nasty, gossipy or racist. 

I was going to add something about my tenacity in the face of adversity. I'm a breast cancer survivor and all that. But really, I'm just one of many people who've done the same. It doesn't make me special.

Well, maybe a little bit. Give me a break! That shit is HARD. 

So that's what I think I'll be remembered for! Let's fade out with a bit of Barbra...

Memorieeeees, like the corners of my miiiind....

Linking up (late, as usual!) for Friday Reflections.

What would you like to be remembered for? 

Images: Pexels, Pinterest

Friday, 4 November 2016

The Month That Was October

Another month done and dusted! I'm glad something is. Dusted, that is. My house certainly isn't. But it's all part of keeping up with the trends now that Halloween is apparently a thing in Australia. Cobwebs and dust FTW! 

Anyway, what can I say about October?

Well, curiously it is the only month of the year that begins with an O.  It comes after September and right before November.

What is the point of this meaningless information? I'm glad you asked. The thing is, I'm trying hard to think of something remotely interesting that I did during this illustrious month and what have I come up with?


This reminds me of that phenomenon known as small talk. 

The scenario goes like this. 

I am busy doing all the numerous things that we call life.I get a phone call or bump into some one I know.

Them: What you have you been up to?
Me: Um..... 

My mind goes blank and I forget every single thing I have ever done in my entire life. 

It can't be just me. Can it? 

Suffice to say that I'm sure I did some something worthwhile in October. 

This blog was dutifully updated each week for your entertainment.

I shared what I've learnt about blogging and pondered the difference between being tidy or organised. 

Related: my de-cluttering mission has been kind of on again off again. But slow progress is better than no progress. Isn't it? 

I attempted to become all zen and mystical, to calm my manic mind from its swirling thoughts. From over thinking about my dubious attempts at de-cluttering and numerous other pointless ponderings.

I considered taking up yoga and transcendental meditation.  Pffffft. Yeah, RIGHT. That thought didn't repeat itself, oddly enough.

Instead, I turned to yet more distraction like a normal person. This involved watching a plethora of programmes on my laptop. 


The Wrong Girl

The Secret
Home Fires

And many more. 

This ongoing quest to avoid reality also meant I continued to read up a storm. And since I was on a roll, I decided to participate in triathlon!

Well, MY kind of triathlon, anyway. Sniff. 

There were more appointments, including my first ever with a dietitian. 

My recommended eating plan is low fat and low GI.Talking or writing about diets is terminally boring, so I won't say anything more about it. Furthermore, each time I publicly announce these things I always spectacularly fail. Oops. Moving on...

So that was a very underwhelming October. 

BUT... if this time last year has taught me anything it's that boring is good. God I love boring. 

I hope you do too. Because this post was certainly a good cure for insomnia. Ahem. 

And with that I am now all over November.  Game ON. Actually pyjamas still on. Maybe I better get dressed...

Linking up (late!) for The Month That Was