Friday, 9 September 2016

Friday Reflections: Careful What You Wish For

Hello there shakers and groovers!  It should probably be groovers and shakers, but I thought I'd mix it up a bit.  Isn't it great to wake up and realise it's Friday? Until you remember that you're a parent and Fridays mean nothing anymore. NOTHING! No weekends off from this parenting gig. How rude! 

Anyway, today is exciting because I've decided to join in with the gang for Friday Reflections. 

Just for fun and something different I wrote a short piece of fiction based on the following prompt: 

Write a story or poem that begins with a character throwing a coin into a fountain.

Please note: I am not wonderful at writing fiction, but for the sake of pushing myself out of my comfort zone I gave it a go. I haven't written much of it since high school. So I probably write like a pretentious fifteen year old. But it's fun. So why not? 

Anyway, here it is:


She'd only closed her eyes for a nanosecond. The coin splashed. A wish was made. She immediately felt foolish. Ordinarily she didn't believe in such fanciful things.  

They strolled through the park at least twice a week. Every time they passed the fountain Ava would squeak "Mummy! Wish!" 

She  would shake her head "No." As soon as she agreed, that would be the end of it. It would become a ritual. They might as well save their coinage for something else.

Somehow today had been different. Spring had arrived,in all it's bewitching brilliance. Manda felt relaxed for the first time in ages. She wanted to make an effort to wander and linger. To be present with her daughter, instead of rushing to the next thing on her to-do list.  She paused near the fountain in the afternoon sunshine. 

"Let's make a wish." 

Her daughter's eyes lit up. Maybe she'd been wrong in denying her this moment of joy, of blind faith. It was only a coin. When she opened her eyes, the smile dissolved from her face.

Ava was gone. 

She scanned the park, her heart wild.

"Ava!" She tried to stop her voice from shaking.  She stepped closer to the fountain.
 Don't faint! She told herself. The water glimmered and gushed. Coins littered the bottom of the fountain. Nothing else.  
"AVA!" Stronger this time. Louder. Shrill. She headed back towards the swings, almost stumbling in her haste. People were staring. 

"Did you lose your daughter?" A man asked. 

No shit, sherlock! The thought slapped her. She didn't have time for pleasantries.

Racing towards the swings, she was hysterical. She was shouting now, uncaring about the perplexed stares of strangers. Ava was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't on the swings, the slide, or caught inside the complicated jungle gyms.

The wish Manda had whispered to herself just moments earlier lurked in the back of her mind, taunting her.

Selfish bitch, her mocking inner voice told her. See? Be careful what you wish for! 

But all I wanted was some quiet time! She wailed back inwardly. 

All she wished for right now was to see her daughter safe, unharmed. That was the only thing that was important. 

A crowd had gathered now. "What did she look like?" 

Shakily she pulled out her phone to display a photo. It was taken last month. What kind of mother was she? She didn't even take photos of her own daughter. 

In the minutes that followed, a million thoughts flitted through Manda's mind. Each one more horrifying. More frantic searching and shouting ensued, but still no Ava. 

"Maybe we should call the police?" A woman suggested. 

"Mummy!"  Ava was running toward her. "You left me!" 

A sheepish young woman with a dog on a leash gave Manda a nervous smile.

"She came over to pat my dog. Then we couldn't find you," she explained. 

Manda was in tears. Relief washed over her. She hugged Ava, but she struggled free. Clearly she thought the whole kerfuffle was Manda's fault. 

The crowd dissipated, losing interest now. The sun was starting to disappear behind the clouds. Manda thanked the young woman and began the slow walk home. Her most important wish had been answered. 

Linking up with Sanch for Friday Reflections.

Do you believe in wishes? 



  1. Woah!! You got me hooked. This was awesome Ness. I too have 'lost' a child in a shopping centre and it was the LONGEST time in my life. I had announcements going over the Myer store and up and down escalators to see where "he'd gone" to look at the toys. He had gone to the standalone shop a few doors up. He was about 8. But it was still a nightmare. YOU write well!!

    1. I think it's happened to all of us. Very scary! Thanks for the kind words. Appreciate it xo

  2. Nice one Ness! What do you mean you're not good at fiction?! That was great...kept me hooked. I did have paedophiles on the mind though but I so preferred this! It reminded me of a time when I was three or four and wandered away from my parents because I was bored and walked out into the street. My mum almost had a heart attack I think. Thanks for linking up!

    1. Oh thanks for saying that Sanch! I sometimes feel like a silly school girl writing fiction. I've had my boys run off as toddlers. Not fun!

  3. Maybe the coin didn't work when the wish was selfish? That would be a nice wishing fountain indeed :D

    An interesting take on the prompt!

  4. Truly every mother's fear - to lose a child especially a young one. I believe in wishes and they often come true!

  5. It really is such a fear! Glad your wishes come true. Thanks for reading!

  6. You are very good at it Ness. I could not resist reading it till the end. You made me curious.

    1. Thank you! I'm pleased you liked it.

  7. You made me curious. You are good at Fiction Ness. #FridayReflections

    1. Thanks again for the kind words :)