Monday, 14 September 2015

Confessions Of The Noncompetitive Kind

Today's revelation will probably come as a huge shock. Wait for it. The truth is,  I don't have a single competitive bone in my body. I know, right?!! Who would have guessed? 

The fact that I'm a spectacularly unsuccessful blogger and undomestic goddess with no career whatsoever would never have given that away. Winning! 

This probably explains why I've never enjoyed games of any description: board games, sport games, card games, PlayStation, Xbox and anything else that I've never heard of and don't want to. I also abhor Candy Crush, Farmville, Stick Run and all Facebook games. So there's actually no point in ever sending me gaming requests if we're Facey friends. Just saying. 

The thought of sitting  at a Poker Machine mindlessly dunking in shit tonnes of cash makes me want to poke my eyeballs out. Come to think of it, I don't even take any interest in competitions or giveaways or even purchase lottery tickets. I don't even have a 'you've got to be in it to win it' attitude. Weird.

I don't get into any sport whether it's playing or spectating. I've tried, but I just can't drum up even the smallest amount of enthusiasm or interest in anything. Not for soccer, rugby league, AFL, tennis and especially not cricket. Bats, balls, BORING! 

On the positive side, it's helpful to not actually give a flying fuck when the State Of Origin or Grand Final is on. I couldn't care less who wins or loses. While every one else is sobbing into their stubbies or lamenting their team's wooden spoon status, I'm thoroughly unconcerned. Meh.

However, for success in life in general it would probably be useful to have a bit of fight and competitiveness. After all, we do live in a competitive society. 

I don't know why, but I've never been some one who thought about life in the sense of setting goals and having ambition. I've just drifted along aimlessly. I've always been an off with the pixies space cadet. This isn't exactly helpful in life. I often dislike this trait and wish I was more of a go-getter. More driven, focused and disciplined. 

Maybe it's just that it's hard to strive for something when  you're not exactly sure what it is you should be striving for. It sounds weird but when you struggle with basic things in life like I always  have (anything from talking, to driving to feeling comfortable in my own skin) all you really want is to be 'normal'. Whatever that means.

Apparently you're supposed to hit 17 and suddenly have all the wisdom of the ages and have the utmost clarity of what your calling is. Or something.

But I was so ridiculously shy, quiet, awkward, introverted and just plain old weird that everything seemed out of my reach. I knew emphatically that I did not want to be a teacher. Imagine a whispery voiced Ness attempting to control a room full of children ( I often can't manage my own three, but that's another story. Shut up). So that was out. A careers adviser suggested that I study journalism since my English teachers felt I had writing ability. This seemed absurd to me. I figured that to be a journalist you had to be pushy and possibly even aggressive. So that was out. I couldn't be a nurse or anything in a medical setting because I'm squeamish. So that was out.

I thought, one day I'll wake up and have the confidence or ability to do these things at an certain age. I too, can be mediocre Mrs Average. Have a run of the mill office job, friends, a car, a house, a husband and two point five kids (even though I've never quite understood how you can have point five of a child, but then again, I've never been good at maths)  and be a socialising, multi-tasking soccer Mum. Technically I can tick a few things off that list, but the job remains elusive, while the multi-tasking and socialising with ease are still somewhat fraught and difficult.

The only thing I ever knew with any certainty that I wanted to be was a Mum. Imagine my chagrin to find that I am quite hopeless at the above description. Okay, I won't say hopeless. That's a pretty dire 'all or nothing' word, but it's all challenging for me.

You'd think that being dreamy and whimsical would be helpful to become a writer, but I reckon focus and discipline would be much more helpful. 

I can get lost in writing and forget everything. It would be better to be able to do it for an arbitrary amount of time and then switch attention to other tasks, something I struggle with. Additionally, in order to succeed as a writer you have to be competitive and good at self-promotion. I SUCK at self-promotion. 

Mr 6, on the other hand, is extremely stubborn and competitive. He can't stand losing. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. He's not above making up his own rules in an underhanded attempt to win noughts and crosses. I do put aside my aversion to games in order to play with my little man. 

I suppose I can always comfort myself with the old tortoise and hare fairy tale. The idea that 'slow and steady wins the race'. This is an apt analogy for some one like me who is definitely slow and steady and hates the old 'come out of your shell' cliche. The fact that this is a fairy tale and therefore hogwash is completely irrelevant.

There are times when I witness the behaviour of competitive parents at children's sporting events and come away rather bemused. Of course I want to encourage and support my boys, but wailing at them and berating them like a deranged and possessed demon? Um no, I don't think that's helpful at all.

These days the trend at schools is to give all children participation certificates at school events and not highlight winners and losers. Even though I totally missed out on any sort of competitive gene, I'm not sure I agree with this. This is in spite of the fact that I was always the reject that nobody wanted on their team when sport captains were made to choose their team mates. I still remember the one and only time I did receive a sport award at school assembly and how special I felt. Sadly it didn't propel me into becoming a competitive, driven 'winner' but I suspect nothing ever will.

Just for shits and giggles I looked up the synonyms (the same) and antonyms (opposite) for the word competitive and this is what I found:




Killer instinct

Therefore I've come to the conclusion that all of you competitive folk can have your dog-eat-dog, aggressive World. I'm happy in my own little passive one. There are unicorns, cakies and rainbows over here and strictly NO GAMES!! 

Just a random doge meme instead. 

For no other reason than Mr 6 finds them hilarious and the doge doggy looks vaguely like our dog Cookie. You're welcome.

 Plus, we are having tacos for dinner tonight. See? I can be organised and driven when there is food involved!!

Meanwhile, when I logged into Blogger the other day to write this post, I discovered that some one had stolen my old blog spot address and was passing it off as their own with one of my archived posts. Maybe I'm winning at life after all if some one wants to pretend they're me complete with the ubiquitous bogan status!

So I guess I'll just keep plodding and dreaming through life and let all of you winners and strivers get on with it. As you were.

Linking up with Kirsty, Alicia and Eva.

But before you go please tell me:

Are you a competitive person?



  1. Nothing wrong with plodding along ... That is why life works for me. I have a range of friends who compliment my competitive side ( in academics and health) and then others who I calm down

    1. Yes, it wouldn't do for us all to be same. Thanks, Natalie.

  2. I can get quite competitive sometimes, depending on the situation. On the netball court I'm a killer!! But at work, life in general, I just get on with my own shit. I think it's important to run your own race!

  3. I am a lot like you in some ways but I do enjoy the odd board game but don't care what the outcome! And I cheer the maroons all the way in the State of Origin but usually just hope the refs get it right on the night and the most deserving team wins! I'm all for good sportsmanship!!!

  4. Yup, when it comes to trivia. In the game of life; no - I leave that to the hubster, all that keeping up with the Jones' stuff, I'm not interested. BTW I love that Sally Coulter quote x

    1. I love that quote, too. Can't bear 'keeping up with the Jones' *shudder*

  5. I'm like you when it comes to competitiveness although I do follow quite a few different sports and have been known to be a bit of a sook if I have a vested interest in the team and they lose a game they should have won !!!
    When it comes to board games / card games / phone games / technology games - I have absolutely zero interest. I don't do playing with dolls or cars very well either (I know, strange as that seems - LOL !!!)
    Do you mind if I join you in the land of rainbows, unicorns and cake ? :)

  6. You're being WAY too hard on yourself! I can guarantee there will be someone who thinks you're doing great! I am a little bit competitive, not in the sport sense but competitive in the sense that I'm quite driven and ambitious and set my goals pretty high. I think I'm more competitive with myself than anyone else actually and can be pretty tough on poor old me. But it's gotten me to where I am and I'm loving it. But just because you're not competitive doesn't mean that's bad. There are probably heaps of things you can do LOADS better than I can!

    1. Thanks Eva. I think you should take your own advice as well. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing great.

  7. I love your admission...I aspire to it- and fail dismally!

    1. You can't really fail at failure. Can you??

  8. There is nothing wrong with not being competitive - I think the world is balanced out quite nicely with a bit of both. At least you live a quiet, non-angsty sort of life Ness - not getting put out by losing trivia nights due to a question about balls...:)

    1. I think I just take myself out of the race because I know there's no way I can win, especially with a question about balls! lol

  9. I like to plod and keep other peoples hassles at arms length. Mostly it doesn't work out that way.
    My daughters have a thing that all white dogs vaguely look like our white dog. I had a thought of having tacos for tea tomorrow night. Only because I made wraps today after my 3 year old had a major meltdown because the salad wrap I bought home from the shop, fell to bits in her hands and she absolutely had to have a wrap. Sigh....
    I like those words from Sally :)

    1. That's actually pretty impressive - a 3 year old being so keen about a salad wrap!! I love those words, too.

  10. I love entering competitions, but I'm not hardcore competitive. It's fun for me, as with when I play Wii games with my family. I try to win but it's mainly for the fun of it!

  11. I go through stages but mainly I'm in competition with myself. I do love entering and hosting competitions though.