Monday, 18 May 2015

Travel Fails

Today I am back to entertain you with some tails of my travel fails. As you can see I am still the consummate poet.  What can I say? It's a gift.
  


Sadly, this is a topic I am all too familiar with. Our travel experiences would most certainly fall into the fail category. Basically we have failed to travel to any glamorous destination. Instead we are more likely to end up in a rather exotic location -  like Dubbo.
 
Incidentally, if you typed tripadvisor Dubbo into your Google search engine I wonder what it would advise you?  Don't bother?  Stay home because your life sucks? Perhaps they should have that mocking voice that's on Stick Run on Facebook that declares "YOU'VE FAILED!!"  in a tone dripping with derision. Look I have nothing against Dubbo. It's a fine place. In fact I've discovered that there is a drive-through bakery there and multiple book shops, so it's practically my dream holiday destination now.


Anyway, enough about that. Back to my travel tails. When I was a mere lass of only 10 I went on my first and last overseas jaunt to Holland with my parents and brother. I'm not sure if 'jaunt' is the correct expression but it sounds cute so I'll go with it.  The month long stay with our family friends went smoothly and was most enjoyable. I do have some vintage footage on a DVD somewhere of me as a ten-year-old Ness with long red hair merrily skipping through the tulips, but I have no idea how to upload it here so you'll have to imagine  it.

The fail part came when we arrived at the airport, homeward bound. For some reason my parents mistakenly thought we had loads of time before departure. We were strolling around the airport when our names were called over the loudspeaker.  Cue the frantic sprint to the departure gate, arms and carry-on luggage akimbo. Sheepishly we boarded the plane amid the dagger-like stares of our fellow passengers whom we'd kept waiting.



Another time my parents rented an apartment at Nelson Bay in NSW for a week. The brochures forgot to mention we would be  sharing it with an army of cockroaches. There was also the delightful bonus of mattresses that reeked of urine. We only lasted one night before heading home.


Thus ended my travel adventures for many years. Enter Mickey Blue Eyes. From the minute we met it was evident that we were not only destined to be together, but to become a dynamic, jet-setting power couple. Forget Brangelina. Think Micess. Nessick? Um. I might have to think about that...


The point is, we embarked on many holidays including our honeymoon in Tasmania where we nearly drowned on a cruise through Hell's Gate. Now I know why they call it that. Another memorable trip involved watching the four walls of a motel room in Cairns for a day or two while a cyclone raged away outside.


Our holidays post children often seem to be road trips. One or more of the boys will inevitably end up puking in the car. This is always fun. Said no one ever.


On one trip to the Gold Coast we were visiting Sea World. As I peered into the humungous shark tank I leaned over to get a better look and my mobile phone slipped out of  my handbag and fell in with a splash.  Mick and the boys wandered down to underground viewing area. People were muttering in disgust about a phone being in there. Mr 13 (who was only 8 or so at the time) exclaimed "That's my Mum's!" We left, cheeks blazing. Classy. For the record, I did notify a staff member of what had happened but he seemed to have a 'why the f**k are you telling me?' expression. It's not like I expected him to dive in and retrieve it for me!


I fear we have another travel fail on the horizon. We talk about going away during the July school holidays but we still haven't done anything about it. Meanwhile, I've also begun the arduous process of applying for passports. I got to the point where we need to provide photos and referees and promptly forgot about it. Oops. Yep, I'd call that a travel fail of epic proportions. Well, it's not so much a travel fail as it is failing to travel AT ALL.


I've never actually managed to catch the travel bug the way some people do, so I'm relatively resolved to the fact that we may never have an epic overseas trip. But I guess you never know. It might still happen. In the meantime I can just watch half the people on my Facebook feed who all appear to be overseas at the moment.


And there is always that drive-through bakery in Dubbo awaiting me. How could  that be a failure? 


Linking up for I Must Confess.


What do your consider to be your travel fails?
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11 comments:

  1. I am actually considering Dubbo with the chicklets these school holidays, so now you've got me wondering....I wished you'd rung your phone, that would have been hilarious!! How judgy some people are - as someone who had dropped a phone in a pool (twice) and bath (3 times) I have nothing but sympathy for you!!

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    1. I'm going to Wagga Wagga at the end of the year but I've got relatives there so it's all good! Thanks love. xo

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  2. I have spent overnight in Dubbo on the way to Canberra and the best idea the family came up with was curtain fabric on the outside of the car windscreen so that in the morning the ice didn't need to be dealt with.
    Nelson Bay, ah my Grandparent's owned a caravan there and I sort of recall visiting but I know my Mum recalls her weekends and holidays there growing up a lot clearer.
    A drive through bakery sounds awesome, especially with a good book ;)

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    1. It actually does sound kind of awesome now that I think about it!

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  3. A drive through bakery you say. It's a good thing I don't live in Dubbo...I'd just have to reroute my pay to the bakery lol!

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  4. We've been to Dubbo on holiday and lived near Nelson Bay so definitely had a staycation there. I remember my inlaws arriving once rambling on about their latest cruise or travels and the our girls decided to tell them about our latest road trip to the... local dump.

    Sadly, our overseas travel fund went to pay for Miss 17's $26k braces and surgery that is due later this year, so I can't see any real travel on the horizon but I can dream. Miss 17 however is just back from Greece. Paid for the trip herself through her after school job earnings. Perhaps I need to find a 2nd job. Hmmm.

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    1. Um, a travel blog? Could you get sponsors that way? Anywhere is an improvement on the dump! xo

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  5. Dubbo also has the zoo and a jail so lots to see there!

    BTW I love the word jaunt - it's cool :)

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    1. Yes but once you've seen them a few times...meh. I like that word too. xo

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  6. Sorry but I must confess I had a giggle at your fails!! The phone in the shark tank!! hehehe

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