Monday, 16 March 2015

Parenting Fail

WARNING: This post is a bit on the gross side so if you're eating or easily grossed out, don't read any further! You've been warned!

Today I am meant to be confessing to any parenting fails. The only problem is that obviously I am the most likely candidate for Mother Of The Decade! I don't have any! OK, I made that up.

The truth is, it's a bit of a sensitive topic for me. I think I'm a terrible mother because I'm scatty and disorganised. However, my boys seem to genuinely love me. Additionally, they are all healthy and going well at school. So I guess I'm doing something right.

There is one funny anecdote which happened many years ago when Mr 13 was Mr 3 and Mr 11 was a newborn, so let's call him Baby. Yep, I'm very original with names and aliases.

One day we decided to go out for a picnic at Mt.Tomah Botanical Gardens.  I don't know what we were thinking. We must have been feeling extremely optimistic on that day. Otherwise, we were just delirious with sleep deprivation. If this wasn't foolish enough, we also decided that it would be a brilliant idea to invite our friends, Kim and Ziggy, to come with us.

It all started out looking promising. We arrived at this picturesque location and strolled around happily. Eventually we found a spot to have our picnic. At this point, Baby began shrieking incessantly. Meanwhile, a rather over-powering stench began emanating from the direction of Mr 3. It was all quite mortifying for us, while our friends kept smiling politely as if nothing was amiss.

Except it was impossible to ignore the smell. No problem, we'll just change him and clean him up, we thought. The trouble was, we soon realised that although we had packed a baby bag with everything except the kitchen sink for Baby, we had left Mr 3's backpack at home. We did have some wipes but not his nappies or a change of clothes.

Somehow, Mickey Blue Eyes took Mr 3 to a discreet location and cleaned him up as best he could. Except this was one of those horrific poo explosions. Something that only a bath and then another bath and then another bath could clean. He had no choice but to put the same trousers back on him. Not surprisingly, he still reeked.

This didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. He chattered on merrily, excited about the picnic. At the same time, Baby had kept up his cacophonous screeching. I fed him, but he still wailed and voiced his disapproval of being dragged out for the day.

Mr 3, oblivious to his rancid, toxic odour spotted another family having a picnic and figured he'd join them. I think he just wanted to make friends with the other kids. Within minutes, the family disappeared, probably unable to consume their food.

I guess it was one way to ensure that we had the entire gardens all to ourselves for the day.  Needless to say, it wasn't exactly a relaxing picnic and we ended it as soon as possible.

From that day forward whenever our boys had one of those utterly disgusting poo explosions they were referred to as a 'Mt.Tomah'.

And that, my friends, is what I would call an epic parenting fail. Bows to applause. But it's all good, because I've been a perfect parent ever since. And slightly delusional, but we won't mention that.


Linking up for I Must Confess.

What is your most epic fail?


  1. Oh dear, too funny. I'm pretty sure all our parenting fails happened on hubbies watch. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

  2. Ugh! I just wrote a long comment and it's gone....ARGH!

  3. Short version - it happens so you don't get judgey mcjudgy with other parents. (I have a similar version of story - too long to retype)

  4. I love it - I think the code word is awesome "Mt Tomah"! We had a similar episode in a pub of all places (because of course that's where everyone takes their newborns..) Gilbert did a number 3 (aka Mt Tomah) and I'm pretty sure the stench was he reason the pub had a complete renovation not long afterward... ;)

  5. Oh Ness, I know far, far, far too much about Mt Tomahs. I dare not even THINK about those times.Rather, I just rejoice that they are no longer part of my days!! x

  6. Oh dear! I remember having to duck into woolies while out many a time because I had forgotten wipes or a dummy or a bottle...or formula. Man it's a wonder he survived at all some days!

  7. LOL - that poo that could kill a bear in the woods. Once we forgot nappies for my youngest and we were at the drive ins with all the kids. He pooped. So we found some old girls knickers (yes he is a boy) and filled it with serviettes. Everyone was happy.

  8. Haha oh dear! I've forgotten nappies or wipes before but I've always been in a place where I can get some new ones luckily.

  9. LOL that's a good one ... the first time we took our family of 4 for a picnic with Mr Nearly 3 and our 6 week old daughter, we didn't realise until we got there that our son was running a fever ... parents of the year for sure.

  10. They ALWAYS without doubt do the worst poo explosions when you're either missing nappies or wipes. Murphy's dam law!