It sounds a bit naff to say it, but probably the day that I first found out I was pregnant does stand out for me. It's a long story. Suffice to say, I was already 26 weeks pregnant and had NO IDEA. But I was thrilled. For years I had believed that it could never happen. That day was better than winning the lottery. I wish I could bottle that kind of euphoria and sell it because I'd be a freaking millionaire.
While becoming a Mother was genuinely thrilling to me and I wouldn't trade it for anything, little did I know the sacrifices that were coming.
In short, I have completely and utterly let myself go.
There was a time when I used to love dressing up. Donning a lovely frock was one of my favourite past times. Usually they were sewn by my Mum. I loved myself sick in these frocks. These days I hardly ever wear dresses.
Similarly, I enjoyed going to the hairdressers and whittling away several hours and a fair amount of cash to have my hair done. Although why I thought the mullet-perm was ever going to be a good idea back in 1987 remains a mystery.
I liked to wear make-up and would paint my face up with gusto. I never realised that I was over-doing the eye shadow. Tragically, I believed that green or purple eye shadow were a good look, but at least I was making an effort.
Despite these efforts I've always had an aversion to high heels and pantyhose. I would occasionally wear them, though. Now they are like my once tiny waist - non-existent in my World. Sigh.
Yes, I certainly have let myself completely 'go'.
I know this because:
- I haven't seen the inside of a Hairdressers since....never mind....
- I'm looking forward to embracing my inner Prue or True and having a silver bob or pixie cut because I CAN'T BE BOTHERED ANYMORE.
- I have clothes in at least three different sizes. I convince myself that the larger ones clearly have the wrong label on them. Ahem.
- The real reason I have three different sizes is because most of my clothes are stretchy, floaty, elastic waisted or tunics etc.
- The rare times I do actually slap a bit of war paint on for a night out my son enquires in perplexed tones: Why have you got make-up on?
- I took a selfie or two for the first time ever, but only after carefully checking for poses that don't emphasise my double chin. Okay, chins.
- I often seethe inside at the injustice of how much easier it is to be a man. So much so, that I've seriously considered just shaving my hair off and wearing Micky Blue Eyes' clothes out to the shops. After all, these days I can manage to sport quite an impressive moustache, so I may get away with it. Until I speak. But it could be quite amusing to see the check out chick's reaction. No?
- The only clothes I buy are from 'Nanna' stores like Millers or the fat plus section at Best & Less. Classy.
- My skin care routine consists of slathering on a bit of sunscreen if ever I should log off the computer and emerge blinking and bewildered into the sunshine. I may whack on a bit of the old Oil Of Olay once a week or so when I notice my sand-paper like skin.
- I wear make-up so infrequently that I appear to have developed an allergic reaction to it. As soon I apply the slightest amount, my eyes sting and water like crazy. Or I could just be weeping that there is no miracle cream to disguise double chins.
- I am clueless about the meaning of words like 'threading' and 'shellac' and have to Google them.
- I am baffled by the apparent burning urge of every woman in Australia to want to dress like Nina Proudman despite being a fan of Offspring.
- I look back at old photographs of myself and am astounded that I wasted so much energy thinking I was fat when I wasn't. Immediately a foreboding feeling washes over me that I may be looking back at current photos ten years from now and thinking the same thing. *shudders*
- If I posted an Outfit Of The Day, as some bloggers do, it would mostly be an alluring mix and match of joggers, track suit or yoga pants, jumper or polar fleece jacket.
- I never actually do yoga in the afore mentioned yoga pants. Shut up. I do aerobics in them. So ner.
- I still need to wear these items despite jumping around like a lunatic doing aerobics on a virtually daily basis. *sobs*
- I have never worn skinny jeans. See above.
- I believe all jeans are over-rated.
Linking up for Laugh Link and I Must Confess.
Have you let yourself 'go'?
What moment in time would you go back to?