Monday, 11 August 2014

Let It Go

I'm not sure if I can pin point one specific moment in my life that stands out above others. There was no moment when I could have chosen two different paths. I never really had any path. I just drifted along in my own little World. This has worked out well since I now have this space specifically for being in my own little World. See? I knew being a drifting daydreamer was a great Life Plan. Ahem.

It sounds a bit naff to say it, but probably the day that I first found out I was pregnant does stand out for me. It's a long story.  Suffice to say, I was already 26 weeks pregnant and had NO IDEA. But I was thrilled. For years I had believed that it could never happen. That day was better than winning the lottery. I wish I could bottle that kind of euphoria and sell it because I'd be a freaking millionaire.

While becoming a Mother was genuinely thrilling to me and I wouldn't trade it for anything, little did I know the sacrifices that were coming.

 In short, I have completely and utterly let myself go.

There was a time when I used to love dressing up. Donning a lovely frock was one of my favourite past times. Usually they were sewn by my Mum. I loved myself sick in these frocks. These days I hardly ever wear dresses.

Similarly, I enjoyed going to the hairdressers and whittling away several hours and a fair amount of cash to have my hair done. Although why I thought the mullet-perm was ever going to be a good idea back in 1987 remains a mystery.

I liked to wear make-up and would paint my face up with gusto.  I never realised that I was over-doing the eye shadow. Tragically, I believed that green or purple eye shadow were a good look, but at least I was making an effort.

Despite these efforts I've always had an aversion to high heels and pantyhose. I would occasionally wear them, though. Now they are like my once tiny waist - non-existent in my World. Sigh.

Yes, I certainly have let myself completely 'go'.

I know this because:

  • I haven't seen the inside of a Hairdressers since....never mind....
  • I'm looking forward to embracing my inner Prue or True and having a silver bob or pixie cut because I CAN'T BE BOTHERED ANYMORE.
  • I have clothes in at least three different sizes. I convince myself that the larger ones clearly have the wrong label on them. Ahem.
  • The real reason I have three different sizes is because most of my clothes are stretchy, floaty, elastic waisted or tunics etc.
  • The rare times I do actually slap a bit of war paint on for a night out my son enquires in perplexed tones: Why have you got make-up on?
  • I took a selfie or two for the first time ever, but only after carefully checking for poses that don't emphasise my double chin. Okay, chins.
  • I often seethe inside at the injustice of how much easier it is to be a man. So much so, that I've seriously considered just shaving my hair off and wearing Micky Blue Eyes' clothes out to the shops. After all, these days I can manage to sport quite an impressive moustache, so I may get away with it. Until I speak. But it could be quite amusing to see the check out chick's reaction. No?
  • The only clothes I buy are from 'Nanna' stores like Millers or the fat plus section at Best & Less. Classy.
  • My skin care routine consists of slathering on a bit of sunscreen if ever I should log off the computer and emerge blinking and bewildered into the sunshine.  I may whack on a bit of the old Oil Of Olay once a week or so when I notice my sand-paper like skin.
  • I wear make-up so infrequently that I appear to have developed an allergic reaction to it. As soon I apply the slightest amount, my eyes sting and water like crazy. Or I could just be weeping that there is no miracle cream to disguise double chins.
  • I am clueless about the meaning of words like 'threading' and 'shellac' and have to Google them.
  • I am baffled by the apparent burning urge of every woman in Australia to want to dress like Nina Proudman despite being a fan of Offspring.
  • I look back at old photographs of myself and am astounded that I wasted so much energy thinking I was fat when I wasn't. Immediately a foreboding feeling washes over me that I may be looking back at current photos ten years from now and thinking the same thing. *shudders*

  • If I posted an Outfit Of The Day, as some bloggers do, it would mostly be an alluring mix and match of joggers, track suit or yoga pants, jumper or polar fleece jacket.
  • I never actually do yoga in the afore mentioned yoga pants. Shut up. I do aerobics in them. So ner.
  • I still need to wear these items despite jumping around like a lunatic doing aerobics on a virtually daily basis. *sobs*
  • I have never worn skinny jeans. See above.
  • I believe all jeans are over-rated.
After writing this list I feel like a cup of tea and a good lie down. What I really need is a good long look in the mirror and to get a grip. On something other than cake. That might be handy.

Linking up for Laugh Link and I Must Confess.

Have you let yourself 'go'?

What moment in time would you go back to?
Reactions:

30 comments:

  1. Oh I hear you! There's a reason I dont do selfies!

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    1. I doubt I will ever have an Instagram account. If I did it would just involve photos of cake. And therein lies the problem....

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  2. I agree with you that jeans are over-rated. I like to point out to people that they were designed for factory workers in Nimes. That's why they are made out of Denim (De Nimes). So you and I are just fashion elite...

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  3. Ha! I don't have kids but mostly work from home nowadays and also feel I've let myself go. I wear 'soft pants' to bed and rarely bother changing when I get up. Nearly everything I own have elastic in the waist and I'm increasingly avoiding having to go anywhere where I can't wear yoga pants or a sweatshirt. As for the selfie... I think not! :-)

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    1. Yeah been there, done that. Now I'm selfie free zone. Gotta love those yoga pants. At least we can say that Yoga has totally changed our lives. Sort of. Ahem..

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  4. There is nothing wrong with a good pair of stretchy pants. I own several (dozen). If you ever get bored with Best & Less, Big W has a pretty classy plus-size range too...

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    1. Oh yes they do. Thanks for reminding me. Meanwhile those stores are both at opposite ends of my local mall and I'm too lazy to walk from one to the other. Ahem.

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  5. LOL you crack me up. I must admit that stretchy pants are my fav at the moment. Can't do zips and buttons. I do still go to the hairdressers tho - every 7 weeks. So...I'm a fat girl but I have nice hair HAHA ;-) xo

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    1. I need to get myself back to the hairdressers...and Weight Watchers. Ahem. xo

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  6. Hahaha...and let's face it, who doesn't prefer trackies over skinny legs? :)

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  7. I've gone for the hippy look now my waist has disappeared Ness. I reckon you can get away with blue murder in a cheesecloth tie dye kaftan with lots of bangles and beads.

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    1. Oh yes, with bare feet of course And no need for shaving legs. Genius! Thanks Pinky. xo

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  8. I went to a make up party recently (like a Tupperware party, but with beauty products, can't remember the brand) and the perky sales lady said 'Now, I hope you're all finding time for the full 6 stages of cleansing as part of your beauty regime'. I sat there amongst the tunic-wearing mums reaching into the archives for what these 6 stages could possibly be! Some people's 'beauty regimes' are clearly very, very different from mine!

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    1. 6 stages? Oh dear. My 'beauty regime' doesn't exist. Thanks for reading. x

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  9. I totally get this post. I live in jeans and trainers and the only time I get dressed up is for weddings. My 4 year old son almost died of shock when he saw me in a dress earlier this year. Confused me for a princess.

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    1. LOL I could imagine the look on my 5 year old's face if he saw me in a dress. I'm not sure he ever has! x

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  10. I don't understand the obsession with Nina's clothing choices either. Sure she looks nice but there is no way her stuff would look any good on me!

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    1. Exactly! Thank goodness for blogs like yours that show us fashionable clothes for middle aged women. xo

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  11. It's funny that you say you are looking forward to a bob do so that you don't have to put in too much effort..that's exactly when I have long hair. It's so easy to just scrape it all back into a messy bun. Some people actually pay to get the looks I accidentally manage to make sometimes lol!

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  12. I love dresses - I think the right design just does a trim and tuck far better than skinny jeans every could hold it all in. I love yoga pants, but then I do quite a bit of yoga. I love your attitude, and I'm sure there must be a certain angle for holding your head in which the double chins sort of disappear. What to do with the crow's feet though?!

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    1. I think I don't do dresses because I like wearing comfy shoes which usually don't go with dresses. Yes, it's all in the angle. Botox works a treat for the crow's feet. So I've heard anyway! xo

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  13. Another Ness special, I rarely wear makeup and it stings my eyes so don't do the black stuff, mascara I think it's called ;) And I love my Olay it's my daily moisturiser, who needs flash labels hey! I hope Mickey Blue Eyes had a lovely birthday. Thanks for linking x

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    1. I hate that stinging feeling. I can't afford flash labels so Olay it is. Thanks for the birthday wishes. I did enjoy his cake. I mean, erm, HE did enjoy his cake. xo

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  14. Anh Ness you make me laugh! Guess as we grew and change so do our priorities! Thank god for the delete button on smart phones when it comes to selfies! So ethi g I am yet to master...

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    1. Delete Delete Delete. I need to work out how to do filters so I can stop deleting. Ahem. xo

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  15. I don't get the Nina Proudman thing either but then again, I don't watch TV. I would really love to embrace the grey and save a small fortune at the hairdressers but it's that whole in between stage that stops me.

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    1. Yeah, mine is still salt and pepper. I'm waiting until it's all silver. Silver, I say. NOT grey! Lol xo

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