Monday, 3 February 2014

Sport Makes Me Snooze

It is totally un-Australian (that's a word, right?) of me but all sport bores the bejesus out of me. There. I said it. I've always really wished I was the sporty type. One of those Mum's who turn up at school pick-up clad in tight Lycra looking svelte, spray tanned and smug. I think I can safely say that at age 43, it just isn't going to happen. I loathe Gyms and abhor all team sport. I am uncoordinated and uncompetitive. Considering that I had to Google the word competitive because I appear to have forgotten how to spell and apparently the synonyms for competitive are: ruthless, merciless, aggressive and fierce. I'm reasonably certain nobody has ever uttered any of those words and my name in the same sentence. It is quite clear that I was never meant to be an Olympian. Unless they ever make Cake Eating an Olympic event. Then I'm in with a shot.

I do not even enjoy watching any sport. Cricket and tennis are just the three B's to me. Meaning, bats, balls - BORING! Micky Blue Eyes, who is thoroughly addicted to all things soccer whether it's playing or spectating, cannot comprehend my antipathy toward sport. To him it's the equivalent of saying you don't like breathing.

"You didn't even like any sport when you were a kid?" he'll ask in utter bewilderment.

"No," I assure him.

"I don't understand how you could be a kid and not enjoy running around, playing sport," he stares at me as if he doesn't know me and is worried that he may have married some bizarre alien creature.

Perhaps it is something to do with being Aspergian. I gather that a great deal of us do not gravitate toward sport. I don't mind doing a bit of moderately paced basic aerobics (grapevine, anyone?) as long as it's not too complex with too many fancy moves. And as long as I don't have to wear leg warmers and a leotard. The 80's, Olivia Newton John and Jane Fonda have a lot to answer for.

I've recently taken to doing various workouts on Youtube at home. I'm weird. This way nobody has to see all my wobbly bits jiggling up and down or how hopelessly uncoordinated I am. I can wear my daggiest, most comfortable gear. It works for me. Kind of. It might work a bit better if I wasn't addicted to cake. Ahem.

As far as watching sport, the only thing I can tolerate watching is figure skating. There is music and they have pretty costumes and the moves are incredible. Although it does make me feel a bit wobbly and dizzy just watching them spinning around.

Thankfully my parents never insisted that my brother and I had to do any sports when we were growing up. I would have found it torturous. Micky Blue Eyes is most insistent that our boys should all be doing at least one sport. Mr 12 and 9 have been playing soccer for a number of years now and they seem to like it, especially Mr 12. They have also learnt to swim. I haven't learnt to suddenly become all passionate and intense about soccer even when it's my boys playing. I know. Mother Of The Year, right? The shame....

Plus, having an interest in sport would certainly be an advantage when it comes to small talk. Another thing I am simply not stellar at. Sigh. Instead, when people start discussing the tennis, cricket, footy or anything else with balls in it, I sit there and fade into the furniture. Some sporting dude apparently became Australian Of The Year and I had never even heard of him. Don't ask me to remember his name. Shut up.

On the plus side, at least I will always have a convenient cure for insomnia. I watch sport - instant snooze fest. In fact, after writing this, I already feel a Nanna nap coming on...

Oh well, that's me. UNsporty Spice. Later, dudes.

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess.




                                                         Is it UnAustralian to not like sport?
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24 comments:

  1. Funny you should pick this theme, Ness. I just finished watching the epitome of all sports in America. The really bizarre thing is that I haven't really followed sports in many, many years.

    In America it's the American Football Superbowl that trumps everything. Today was Superbowl Sunday and it was the Seattle Seahawks vs. the Denver Broncos. I watched it because my son wanted to watch it, and it was more about spending time together.

    The Superbowl has become a spectacle. You have the incredibly crafty and often brilliant commericials. Then there's the Half Time Entertainment. There are fireworks, incredible effects, light shows, and massive amounts of confetti streaming in the air. People get together and have parties and BBQ's while they watch the game. It isn't just a sport anymore, like I remember it. It's a phenomenon!

    I've really lost interest in it over the years, but I wanted to humor my son. The spectacle of it can be entertaining. I can take it or leave it and mostly leave it. There just seems to be more interesting and important things to do. I say different strokes for different folks. I will also say that team sports can be very beneficial to children; it helped me learn sportsmanship, team work, physical discipline, performance under pressure, and comraderie (sorry, Ness, Mick is right on that point).

    As usual, I'm getting long here, but I'll just say enjoy what you enjoy, and let eveyone else enjoy what they enjoy.

    Ball room dancing is pretty nifty, if you can call it a sport. I like the Fred and Ginger type numbers. Maybe everyone will find this one interesting:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjaQHaYZ2Tg

    Ask Mick if he can handle this :-).

    Ben

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    1. I saw all the Facebook posts and tweets about the Super Bowl. It certainly is a huge deal over there. I know Mick is right about the boys doing sport. It is good for them. He just hasn't thought through the logistics of having to be in 3 places at once on a Saturday with only two of us and one car. We might need to learn more than team work and discipline - we'll need magical powers for that...

      The link isn't showing up as a link. Not sure why.

      It's good that you spent the time with your son, anyway.

      Thanks, Ben.

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  2. You should watch roller derby , fast, funny and the roll out is usually a dance. So it has everything.
    On the Super Bowl - I only got to watch the last quarter so big waste of time BUT Sherwood has been telling his Seahawks fans to just enjoy the win and stop dumping on Peyton. He also said he was the classiest player around. So I now think Sherwood is classy himself, and that was the highlight of today's game.

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    1. Roller derby sounds interesting. I had roller skates for about 5 minutes as a kid. Fell over once, threw a huge tanty and back they went to the shop.

      I'll have to take your word for it about that being the highlight of the Super Bowl.

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  3. Welcome back. The government would be appalled to hear you are unsure if "un-Australian" is a word (they use it so often these days). That said, I have no idea how to spell it - does it have a hyphen and, if not, would you capitalise the "A" part way through the word? Surely this could become a sport in itself.

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    1. I pondered all of the above points as I was writing this. Then, in typical lazy bogan fashion thought meh, whatever, and used each option- hyphenated at the beginning and not at the end.

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  4. I don't like watching sports either. The only way I've ever played at the gym well is watching a funny movie or something on my iPad while walking/biking/whatever

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    1. Pretending it's not happening? Great idea!

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  5. This is what makes the world a great place. Everyone is different & not everyone enjoys everything. You may like ballet & opera, while I'm a sports nut. Sure that's polar opposites, but I'm sure amongst it all, there is something they have in common.

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    1. Sadly not only do I detest sport, I'm not cultured either. I just consistently don't give a rats behind about almost anything. Except cake. Priorities, right?

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  6. I just don't think you would be the Ness we have grown to know and love if you were a fake tan toting, latex wearing sport mum. Hell I don't think anyone should dress like that!

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    1. Nawww, thanks Tegan. Yeah, save it for the Gym, I reckon.

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  7. Great, I now have that bloody awful 'Lets get physical' song running around in my head! As a result, I'm now curled up in a corner rocking back and forth hoping the awful noises in my head will stop!

    Seriously though, thanks for the laughs Ness.

    G. xx

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    1. Just be thankful I didn't mention a Carpenters song...

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  8. Twins, separated at birth! I've loathed all sport my entire life. Never have the faintest interest or the slightest clue that it's on. Being a self imposed media hermit helps with that, as I manage to avoid most of the boring drivel on TV, unreality bread and circuses, sport, and bloody bloody ads. The only time I ever enjoyed sport was when we lived in So Cal and used to go to watch the California Angels (now Anaheim Angels) and that was only because there was drinking, singing, standiing up and down and general arseing around involved. In between which there were tight, baseball player's bums to look at. Couldn't tell you if they ever won a match though :)

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    1. You definitely had your priorities the right way around focusing on the tight bums, drinking et al instead of the game. Yep, boring drivel it is, Ace. I'm with you.

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  9. If you don't get a direct link, try copying and pasting the following link into your browser:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjaQHaYZ2Tg

    If you like Fred and Ginger, swinging and swaying to Martha and the Vandellas song "Dancing in the Street", you'll love this video. Rita Hayworth also dances with Fred. The music goes so well with the dance moves. You won't be disappointed; it's great!

    Watching this video always puts me in a good mood and makes me want to learn ball room dancing :-).

    Best part of the Superbowl was when it was over. The Broncos killed their mojo and buried it in the back yard before they showed up. It was like watching a high school team play a pro team or maybe The Three Stooges play a pro team. Everyone was wondering what happened to the Broncos; it had to be over confidence and the lacking of the hunger the Seahawks had for winning their first Superbowl.

    Allright, I'll shut up now.

    Ben

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  10. 'Best part of the Superbowl was when it was over' -rahahahaha!

    Duh! Copy and paste! Why didn't I think of that? Thanks, Ben. :)

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  11. Unsporty Spice - I love it! And perhaps the sport unlovingness is an Aspergers thing. Both my older kids are uncoordinated and simply not innate sportspeople - but they do enjoy watching tennis, like their mumma!

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    1. Oh, that's something, at least. They won't have to be bored senseless all summer if they at least like watching it.

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  12. Aside from the Rugby League and the odd tennis match, I wouldn't care less if they took all the sport off the TV. No interest. At all. Boring.

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    1. There just seems to be too much of it in Summer. Oh well thank god for the internet!

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  13. Haha I love reading your posts!
    I would say it has got something to do with your Asperger's too.. My nephew is constantly questioning me on the purpose of certain sports or games and in genuinely bewildered that anyone would find such activities enjoyable. He was horrified at his first try of footy when someone tackled him. He said "why didn't he just ask for the ball, I would have given it to him!" lol.
    Not Un-Australian at all, to know we're all different and be cool with it is the ultimate Aussie way!

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    1. Ha ha, I like your nephew's style. I couldn't stand any sort of contact sport. Ugh. Yep, it's okay to be different. Thanks, Katrina.

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