Thursday, 27 February 2014

No Idea

Well it seems that I have run out of ideas for blog posts. Unthinkable really, as I am totally fascinating and a deep and complex thinker so one would never think this could ever happen. I mean I can think about two very important things at the same time. Cake and Karen Carpenter. The juxtaposition of thinking of fattening, sugary carbs and the World's most famous anorexic simultaneously, proves what an intense thinker I am. Plus, I used the word juxtaposition without being entirely sure of what it means and if it's in the correct context. But I still used it. Ditto simultaneously. Using big words means you're deep and intellectual, right?

Anyway, I figured why not traul the Internet looking for inspiration and ideas for blog posts. Groundbreaking right? I'm sure nobody has ever done that before. Alternatively, I could just back away from the lap top and give it a rest but the advice is to always write even you don't feel like writing and clearly I'm a very serious writer, practically a literary genius really so I need to be dedicated to my art. I owe it to the World to not deprive them of my sheer brilliance. Or something. Shut up.

After a quick Google search I have stumbled upon the following brilliant suggestions here, some of which I may just have to give a whirl. Apparently they will make my blog HOT. It's already hot though, so after this I expect it will be SCORCHING. Be careful in case your eye sockets spontaneously combust while reading this due to the level of scorchingness ( it's a word, right?).

IDEAS

RUN A CONTEST/GIVEAWAY

This would be an absolutely sterling idea if I actually had a prize to deliver. Honestly though, aren't contests just a teensy, tiny little bit -well...tiresome. All that comment on this, like that or tell us why you want to win in 25 words or less and you might win some miserable little thing that you managed to exist without perfectly easily for decades. Or is that just me? No wonder I never win anything, not even the bloody meat raffles at the RSL. They are totally rigged I reckon.


REVIEW A BOOK/FILM

This would actually involve going to see a film, something I rarely do.  I did manage to catch that About Time one with Rachel McAdams and I thought it was crap while every one else who's seen it seems to love it. Does that count as a review?

I do not wish to review books. This would make feel like I'm back at school writing essays. *shudders*


MAKE A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE/TUTORIAL

I know nothing. About everything. I have no advice, knowledge, skills or insight about anything on the planet ever.


INTERVIEW SOMEONE

Brilliant idea. Except that I happen to be all alone right now. And I can't be bothered ringing, emailing or visiting anyone because of the fact that I'm all alone right now and frankly, I'm enjoying the peace. So bugger that.


CRITICISE A WEBSITE BLOG OR PERSON

Now that is just mean! What kind of a person or website would suggest doing such a horrible, mean spirited thing just to get people to click on your blog? Haven't they ever heard the saying 'if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'? What a disgraceful suggestion. I can't believe anyone would ever suggest such a thing. Hmph! Oh wait.. you see what I did there?


CREATE A PHOTO POST

If you've ever seen my photos, you'll wish you hadn't. So I'm sparing you the affront to your eyes by not taking up this option. You're welcome.


WRITE AN INSPIRATIONAL OR MOTIVATIONAL POST

Eat cake. That's inspirational enough for me.


SHARE RECENT TRAVEL EXPERIENCES

In January we went to the NSW Central Coast which is basically like Boganville with a beach. We like to keep it classy. I blogged about it here.


WRITE DOWN A CONSPIRACY THEORY

I do have this conspiracy theory. It's about the Dinner Fairy. I reckon she likes to hide out with the House Work Fairy in some mysterious location where they drink wine and laugh at us. Naughty bloody fairies.


WRITE A POEM OR SING A SONG

I thought these were supposed to be ideas to make people actually want to read your blog not want to run away shrieking!


SHARE A RECIPE

Here are two of my favourites:

Toast


  1. Take one or two slices of bread.
  2. Pop them in the toaster.
  3. Take them out when they pop up.
  4. Top them with butter and/or any spread of your choice.


Two-Minute Noodles


  1. Open and pour in seasoning sachets.
  2. Pour over the boiling water.
  3. Walk away to wait the allotted two minutes and totally forget about them for a good 20 minutes until your starving and indignant child reminds you.
  4. Not to worry - they will still be hot - serve.



TELL A JOKE

I can't think of any jokes except Mr 5's favourite  Knock Knock one:

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ipe!
Ipe who? (say it out loud to get the 'punchline').

Yep, stand up comedy, here I come. Or not.


BUST A MYTH

I reckon it's a myth about having oodles of time when your kids are at school. It's only about 15 minutes from when they're dropped off until it's pick-up time, right? Seems like it. I'm sure there's a conspiracy theory in there somewhere too and those pesky Dinner and House Work Fairy's have something to do with it. They're probably busily manipulating time to make it race instead of doing what they're supposed to do - cooking and cleaning. Hmph. There must be some scientific evidence or study somewhere to support my conspiracy/myth thing. The truth is out there as Mouldy and Scumpy used to say.


POST A RHETORICAL QUESTION

Isn't this post, and indeed the whole blog, just utterly and completely FASCINATING? No??!! Hey - it was meant to be rhetorical!


THANK YOUR AUDIENCE FOR FOLLOWING YOU

If you have stuck with me until the end of this and many other tedious posts you definitely have my thanks. Thanks a bazillion, gazillion, dudes.

Free cakies to each and every one of you to express my gratitude. Well, they are virtual cakies so you will have to imagine them or, you know, go and buy them or bake them yourself. It's the thought that counts, right?

 Linking up with Robo Schmobo for The Lounge.


                                               What ideas can you think of for blog posts?
Reactions:

24 comments:

  1. As always, entertainment at it's best !!!! Have a great day !
    Me

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  2. Your literary genius and dry, quick humour makes me laugh. Great recipes, might have to try them one day. Love the criticise one, great work there Ness. And I have to say that these are actually good suggestions for a day when I have nothing to write, moan or laugh about. Have a great day lovely - and eat cake x

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    1. I have no cake so I'll settle for drinking wine instead. It shall be hard but it must be done. Thanks Em. xo

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  3. Blog about a favorite movie, record, or book. Tell us why you like them so much. Blog about the heavens. Blog about the enchanted and mysterious. Blog about ghostly spirits. Blog about the supernatural intelligence of primative peoples, who are really advanced in other ways. Blog about who really killed JFK and how Marilyn Monroe died. You know how to do it, just blog, blog, blog.....

    Ben

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    1. If I blogged about my favourite records you know what they would be! Maybe you should start a blog Ben. You have some very interesting ideas. Thanks. xo

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  4. Hehe Ness you always make me laugh. I'm pretty much with you on the contest/giveaways snore thing, and have also trawled the Internet before for 'inspiration'. All of the internet's ideas were stupid for one reason or another (mainly cos, too hard). Go and eat some cake you literary genius woman. That way inspiration lies.

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    1. Trawl - that's it, thanks. I knew it I spelt it wrong but blogger spell check is stoopid and didn't know how to spell it either. Cake sounds good to me. Thanks Kimbooli. xo

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  5. Hehe Ness you always make me laugh. I'm pretty much with you on the contest/giveaways snore thing, and have also trawled the Internet before for 'inspiration'. All of the internet's ideas were stupid for one reason or another (mainly cos, too hard). Go and eat some cake you literary genius woman. That way inspiration lies.

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    1. Did you have a hair cut or is this an old picture? Either way, cute :)

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  6. I'm fairly sure the word is scorchyness (or maybe not ...). Cake always inspires and motivates me. I tried the give away thing once - I offered one of my blog posts as the prize and had a surprisingly low take up on it - cant think why ...

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    1. Scorchyness does gave a ring to it, anyway. Yeah I couldn't give my blog posts away either. Weird people.

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  7. The Counsellor in me says "Stop it with the negative self talk and unhealthy schema!". The Alison in me says ahahaha! The reason I rarely comment on giveaways is that most of the blogs I follow are written by people I correspond with, or used to talk to a lot when I was on Twitter, and I just feel like I know them too well. They're sort of friends, including you. There should be a word for online friends you haven't met that you feel like you know too well to place an entry in one of their competitions :) It just feels weird.

    Whilst I agree that those forums I assume you are referring to - which I haven't visited in maybe a year and then only briefly - are an utter waste of time and effort and those involved genuinely need help with their clearly deep rooted envy and aggression issues - I'd love to see you slagging someone off. If you like I can give you a list ;)

    I always found Digital Parents a good inspiration, back in my blogging days. Twas thanks to Digital Parents you lot got that post about the time I had the red hot squirts in Benidorm. There you go, write about your bowels, I did :D

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    1. Mick would agree with you on the negativity. He's always suggesting I should be more positive in this space.

      That list does sound interesting, Ace. Spill.

      I am a member of Digital Parents and I always forget to have a look over there. Some blogger I am. I don't think I could write about my bowels and make it as entertaining as you did, however. :)

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    2. Your negativity is funny, but I wish you liked yourself as much as we do, is all :)
      xo

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  8. Oooh, must share this genius joke I heard just the other day. "What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts". :D :D Move over, Oscar Wilde...

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  9. Firstly, that Toast recipe is fab, and sounds so easy, I might even try it. My only criticism is that you needed a photo to go with it. Even a few step by step photos. Some of us aren't very crafty...
    Secondly, the joke is funny and made my day. But that could be an indication of the day I'm having...

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    1. It certainly cracks Mr 5 up. Hope your weekend improves. xo

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  10. And I would read your review, ESPECIALLY if it said something was crap that everyone else blathers about...they're the best reviews.

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    1. You've got me thinking now. I generally hate everything that everyone loves eg. Sport so you'd think I'd have this covered.

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  11. I may know what your favorite records are, yet I'd like to hear what your Bogan take is on them and why you cherish them.

    Don't know if I could compete with your blogs, Ness, but maybe some day I'll try blogging. I would like to write a book first. Speaking of books, I believe you have what it takes to write a good one. Finding time is the challenge.

    In the interim, I'll just have to keep following your flair for the blogosphere.

    Ben

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  12. Ooooh, free cakie!!! Oh, hang on ...

    I remember laughing my way through this one before - Love the toast recipe, it's INGENIOUS! And your review? Succinct and to the point, I like a bit of succicity (also NOT a real work but should be!) - why aren't I following you? No idea but I am now ;-)

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  13. Cake is sounding like a bloody dream right now. Unfortunately, it's not on the Lite n Easy menu, so I can't order it... It's 11pm and thanks to this post, I'm now starving. I quite like your photo idea and I set you a challenge. I'm proposing Bogan of the Month. Take a pic, black out the face, and provide depth and description of said bogan, in ways that only you know how. Whaddya reckon?

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