Monday, 2 December 2013

I'm Dreaming of A Cancelled Christmas....

Good morning Groovers and Shakers, welcome to another Monday, the most universally loathed day of the week. It occurs to me that there seems to be rather a lot of songs written about Mondays considering that it is a much despised day.

Think about it:

Manic Monday
Rainy Days And Mondays (always get me down)
Monday Monday (can't trust that day)
I Don't Like Mondays

Hmmm, I think I'm starting to see a pattern here.

Anyway, the point of this post was not to talk about Mondays but to confess to how I really feel about Christmas. Since I have just spent the last couple of months trying to desperately to cancel it - to no avail - I think my feelings are rather obvious. I'm trying to work out exactly where this antipathy to the silly season comes from. The only answer I'm left with is my rather unhelpful tendency to catastrophise everything.

After all, I don't really have that many people to buy gifts for. Nor do I sweat it out in the kitchen on the big day cooking a gigantic traditional turkey Christmas lunch with all the trimmings. No way. We tend to go with the seafood and salads option in our family.

Some people will be horrified at this declaring that it's not really Christmas without a Turkey or a roast dinner. However, my Mother being the sensible woman she is, steadfastly refused to ever cook a roast on a hot Summer's day when my brother and I were growing up, so it's never really been a tradition for me. We live in the land of Oz, therefore no White Christmas for us! It doesn't make sense to have roasts when you're already roasting, people!

Instead, we had this off beat tradition of going out for dinner on Christmas Eve to a Chinese restaurant, because if you're going to have traditions they may as well be classy ones. And what could be classier than spring rolls and fried rice?  Over the years this tradition faded, but we have finally decided to re-ignite it and are heading out with my parents for some sizzling platters on the 24th before coming home, leaving the carrots out for the Reindeer's and then bundling three excited boys full of anticipation and MSG into bed. Should be fun.

On boxing day we are invited to my brother and SIL's home for a good old fashioned Aussie BBQ. On the actual day nothing is planned. Besides being woken up at Stupid O' Clock by three excited boys screaming that Santa's been. Again - should be fun.

I have, in fact, begrudgingly accepted that Christmas is on and I am not able to cancel it, much to my disgust. I even tried to get into the spirit and put the Christmas tree up yesterday. Okay, technically it was actually Micky Blue Eyes who did it. Mr 9 and 5 helped to decorate it and the results were quite stunning. In a sort of abstract bogan way. No photos, so you'll have to imagine it.

The main reason I dread the silly season is basically because of the shopping. The fact that it is entirely my own fault that I tend to leave this until almost the last minute despite vowing never to do so again is completely IRRELEVANT.  Also, I have the internet at my disposal with a plethora of online shopping opportunities so why I don't plan ahead and do this is beyond my comprehension.

I tend to assume that it's all up to Santa.  So get that red suit on and the sleigh ready and get to it, old dude!  What do my boys want?

Mr 12 wants a PS4 which only costs an arm, a leg and a kidney, so I'm counting on you, Santa! Mr 9 wants Lego and some obscure Club Penguin paraphernalia which does not appear to exist in any store, so again - your job Santa! And Mr 5? Well- he only wants every Lego set made in the whole World Ever, all of which cost around a gazillion dollars. No problem, right Santa?? I'll consider it sorted!

Just one question - you don't hang out with that lazy old Dinner Fairy, do you?? If you do, she should definitely be on your Naughty List. She has been very naughty. Very, very, very naughty INDEED. And no - I have NOT been reading Enid Blyton again. Shut up.

Okay folks, that's enough from me.  Only 23 days to go - but who's counting? 

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess.

                                                      Have you been naughty  or nice?


  1. Don't you have to kill someone to get a PS4 this Christmas? I guess you could get one next year when it is cheaper but then it will be as uncool as a PS3?

    1. Good point! I'll file that away for my devastated 12 yo. Thanks!

  2. Stupid o'clock - heehee!
    I'm ignoring all your Xmas comments (shhhhh, denial)
    Your observation on Mondays is astounding. Why is it so maligned? I like Mondays, myself. But you've got me thinking of other songs on this theme...good observation skills!!

    1. Yeah I'm sure there's more but that was all I could think of off the top of my head. .I did try to cancel it but you know how that worked out. Sigh.

  3. I've been ignoring the fact that we're hosting xmas this year. I'm putting my faith in the dinner fairy - surely she will provide us with a christmas feast on the day, with no effort from us? BTW, if I do find her, I will send her your way - that'll be my present to you!

    1. Oh yes! Find her and send that lazy biatch here! Thanks Kirsty. xo

  4. Oh I am with you! We are cold meat and supermarket bought salad on plastic plates with plastic knives and forks kinda people around our house!! hahaha... some people would cringe in disgust I'm sure!

    Good luck!

  5. Coincidentally, I shared this quote from Steven Wright on Twitter today: "Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life." So true!

    My kids want the XBox360 because they know when XBoxOne comes out the 360 will be going for a bargain - smart boys, but I still can't afford it! Will have to work as much as possible this month to finance it. I'd vote for cancelling Christmas!

  6. I was in the bottlo the other day and they had carols on...the bottlo! I'm there is to get some sorrow drowning liquid I do not need to hear some c-grade singer warbling on about how Santa Clause is coming to town.

  7. that dinner fairy squanders of with the bloody cleaning fairy all the time I swear. Lazy pair of no good things they are!

  8. Love your list of Monday songs. Made me think of 'Friday, I'm in Love with You' at the other end of the spectrum :) I agree, December in Australia is not the time to be roasting a turkey!

  9. Tegan's comment made me snort out loud. It's a frackin liberty! The last place I'd think of playing carols would be in the grog shop I must admit :) I also find the whole festive season stressful, though I am fairly good at not catastrophising any more. I like the cooking bit though. Although not a fan of day to day cooking, which is basically just an annoying chore, I do like to go a bit mad now and then and cook pork and all the trimmings and whatnot, so xmas is a good excuse to brush off the culinary skills. But as for all the rest, not to mention all the money spent, it's stressful and awful. I do xmas for the kids, and they always have a brilliant day, but honestly if I could pay someone else to do it all for me, I absolutely would. All I want for xmas is to win the lottery.

  10. Monday is my Friday, so personally I love Mondays! ha!! My son wants Santa to bring a puppy. I hope he also brings someone to feed it/walk it/clean up after it because I know none of us would do that. We always do a BBQ breakfast at the beach and then open presents then the day is sort of ours to do whatever we want b/c my sister will rush off to inlaws. I work boxing day so don't even get a few days off. :/

  11. Despite the fact you said the L word, I will try to say something philosophical. Mondays and Christmas don't seem to go together. To get to the weekend, you've got to start with Monday, so it's the right of passage. Christmas is something completely different.

    After Thanksgiving here in the U.S., our family celebrates Christmas all the way through the beginning of the New Year. Sure there is gift giving, and that can be stressful, especially for tired mums, but it is such a meaningul holiday for our family.

    What do I love about Christmas? I love the decorating we do. I love the home made Christmas treats. I love our traditions like having tortilla soup on Christmas Eve. I love the excitement of my son as he awaits gift giving. I love going to Church and feeling the happiness and good will in people's hearts. I love hearing Karen Carpenter sing "Merry Christmas Darling". I love buying and wrapping specially selected gifts for my loved ones. I love giving to charities. I love doing special things like seeing Christmas movies or plays or a special concert during the month of Dec. I love opening gifts while we drink some good booze (martini's preferred) and eat some good food on Christmas morning. Did I miss anything? I could keep going on, but I won't bore you any more.

    Ness, I hope you find a way to enjoy Christmas in your own special way. Christmas is a lovely holiday and it compliments a lovely person like you. It is worth every effort, even for tired mums like you. I wish you and your readers peace, joy, and love on Christmas, because that is what Christmas truly is.