Friday, 29 November 2013

More Boring As Batshit Bogan Bullshit - Because I CAN

Hello from Boganville! Yes, I am still alive, thanks for asking.

I'm trying to write something here even if it's crap. It's hilarious how I put the word 'if' in that sentence. Funny me. I'm SUCH a comedienne. Or something.

Anyway, what can I say about all the things I've achieved whilst missing in action?

I'm a svelte size 10, addicted to exercise and healthy eating and planning an amazing trip to Europe on our private jet while we wait for our mansion to be built, Micky Blue Eyes having finally followed through on his promise of becoming a millionaire by the age of 40, ten years later??!!

Nope. Can't say that. I CAN bore you with the same old boring as batshit bogan bullshit, though. You're welcome.

In fact, I've been missing in action because I've been extremely busy doing lots of interesting, important things. What, you ask? Okay, you didn't but I'm telling you anyway. So ner.

Here is a comprehensive list:

Sleeping some more
Eating some more
Reading some more
Shopping - but only because I needed more food so I could resume;
Shopping again - but only because I needed more books so I could keep on:
Sleeping -because all that reading and eating is EXHAUSTING.

I may have showered at some point, too. After all, I would have needed to frequently with all that exertion. Exhausting. Phew.

In between all of this monumental effort I did manage to schedule in a pap smear which was fun. SAID NO ONE EVER.

I also managed to schedule in a Girls Day Out with some friends and a spot of shopping, having finally accepted that Christmas is not going to be cancelled. I ventured to the shops with some trepidation expecting the familiar wailing of Mariah Carey but instead there was more of the old Jingle Bell Rock action happening which is quite jolly and cheering at first. However, I suspect that in another 26 days or so I shall be Jingle Bell Rocked OUT. Says the woman who can listen to the same Carpenters songs over and over and over for 30 years. Shut up.

On that note, (listening to same songs over and over) I not only DO NOT care what a fox says but I do know what I would like to say to the creators of THAT particular ear worm as my boys are rather enamoured with it. If you do not know what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky.

While shopping, after having lunch with the girls, I ventured into Target, being classy like that, where I spotted a fetching shirt and vest type arrangement which I thought would do for Mr 12 to wear to his Year 6 Farewell. I popped the vest over the top of the shirt to see what it would look like. When it looked good I took it to the cashier and handed it over absent-mindedly. The cashier proceeded to scan the shirt but not the vest just as absent-mindedly. I had unwittingly ended up with a bargain. Or became a closet kleptomaniac. One or the other. Ahem.

It also transpired that Micky Blue Eyes and I had completely forgotten that it was my mother-in-laws birthday that same day until my father-in-law reminded us. Therefore, I came home from lunch and went straight back out again for dinner with the the out-laws. The next morning yet more shopping was planned with my parents. This meant I had to go out AGAIN in order to drink coffee and spend money. I mean, honestly it's exhausting and extremely rude to have to suffer indignities. HMPH!

Also, Mr 12 had his final High School Orientation on that same Monday and I had forgotten to complete the necessary paperwork for his bus pass application and so forth. Oddly enough this kind of scatter brained forgetfulness does not seem to endear me to Micky Blue Eyes. Sigh.

In a futile attempt to become more organised I had printed out some calendars, filled them out with all of our upcoming things to remember and pinned them on a cork board near the computer desk. Somehow they managed to go missing. When Mick found them again I realised I had totally forgotten to take Mr 5 for a free hearing test at his Kindy the previous Friday. Oops.

I had actually managed to score a hatrick of forgetfulness. Mother-in-laws birthday, High School paperwork and a hearing test. This could mean I'm already on the slippery slope to Alzheimer's or that I have ADD. Or all of the above. Interestingly, I have taken online tests for ADD and scored through the roof for having it but what I am meant to do with this information I don't know. After all, it hasn't changed a thing worked out so well receiving my Ass Burgers diagnonsense. Sigh.

On a brighter note, at least I never forget to eat like some wacky people! So that's something, right? Ahem. And I never forget to feed my children. Mostly. They don't even have to dig for worms anymore! It's been raining so there'll be plenty of snails for them. Done. Dinner sorted.

And I don't even go to paid work! Can you imagine if I did? I'd probably forget my own children's names! Oh wait...

There's a reason I call them 'honey' or 'sweetheart' all the time and Mr's 12, 9 and 5 here. Oh dear.

On that note, I'm sure there was more I was going to tell you - but I've forgotten what it was...

Until next time, take it easy and I'll catch up with you later!


What have you forgotten about lately? 



  1. A few weeks back I forgot to take P1 to swimming lessons. This led to a serious talking to from Dadabs and a plan of action to diarise everything.
    Meanwhile which Carpenters song - I like On Top of The World and Every Sha La La ;-)

    1. Oh gawd - you've just reminded me that I need sign Mr 5 up for swimming lessons and start that particular joy ALL OVER AGAIN. Save me.

      Good song choices! xo

  2. You have made my night seeing this pop up in my feed!

    1. Sorry I am on the iPad and have no idea what I am doing! If it makes you feel any better I forgot to register the babies birth and he still is not on my Medicare yet! I finally sent in the birth paper work about 2weeks ago and i still have to sort the baby bonus! Glad to see you back even if it is temporary!

    2. You certainly have a good excuse with all that sleep deprivation! Thanks Ann - if this made your night you may need to get out more - but thanks! xo

  3. Sounds like you may be suffering from tired mum syndrome. Two things affect memory in a vicious way, and they are stress and sleep deprivation. Mums have a lot of both when they raise children.

    Don't really need to explain it to you. You know what I'm talking about. You've also written about it in your blog.

    Isn't it funny how we never forget events we perceive to be dramatic in our lives? I vividly remember everything when I was in a strong earthquake back in 1989 here in Northern California.

    Memories stay with us, but luckily in most cases their bite wears off over time. As Elvis Presley once sang, "I forgot to remember to forget" is more about the immediacy of a bad memory. You'll have to listen to the song to find out what I mean.

    Maybe lowering your stess level and getting more sleep might help...


    1. Yes, you do have a good point - I haven't been sleeping well. I am trying to rectify that. Having said that I've always been a very absent minded, scatter brained, off with the pixies sort of individual. Meanwhile, I can remember the words to every Carpenters song so at least I've got the important things covered. Ahem.

      I can certainly remember a few dramatic events too. I'm glad you survived to remember that Earthquake.

      Now I'm off to listen to that Elvis song...

      Thanks Ben. xo

  4. If you haven't discovered already, Elvis' song "I Forgot To Remember To Forget" was originally released on the Sun Record Company label out of Memphis, Tennesee in 1955. "Mystery Train" is the hook and the former tune is the extra on the Sun 223 single.

    Even Mick would enjoy "Mystery Train". You might want to check that one out while you're there. All of the Elvis Sun Record Co sides are great. Happy listening to Elvis, one of America's national treasures :-). Here's a link to "Mystery Train" for easy reference:


  5. I forgot to go out to a craft night tonight but that would be because I stayed up way too late last night and can't think straight (that's my excuse anyway). On a brighter note, I thought of you last night when I was at the Special Olympics opening ceremony and one of the artists performed "Close to You". The Carpenters live on, my friend!