Sunday, 3 November 2013

Life And Other L Words


You may have noticed that I have been missing from this space lately. If you haven’t then I would prefer it if you would please just pretend that you have for the sake of my fragile ego. I might cry otherwise and it wouldn’t be pretty. It would definitely be an ugly cry. Hideous, even. Not that you would be able to see it but I’m hoping that just the thought of having that image in your head would be disturbing enough.
The reason for my absence is very simple and can be summed up in one word *:

Life.

That shit gets busy sometimes.

Not to mention the other L word.

Lazy.

SHHHHHHH!! I said don’t mention that word!  Oh right, it was me who mentioned it. Silly me.  As if I would ever be so frightfully lazy that I simply couldn’t be bothered boring you with this blog. That never happens. No way. Well, not very often anyway. Ahem.

Anyway, I may as well bring you up to date with everything that has been keeping me as busy as a blue arsed bogan fly. On that point, do flies really have blue arses? I digress but you know me, always asking the important questions.  Back to being busy -I was going to let you know what has been keeping me so busy. In keeping with the lazy theme I will do so in the good old convenient ‘I can’t be arsed with anything else’ bullet point form.  You’re welcome. Here goes:

  • Children: I have 3 of them. They are rather time consuming, requiring constant feeding, bathing and cuddling on a daily basis. Who knew? It was so much easier having a pet rock. (It was a 70’s thing. I’m showing my age. Sigh.) Except for the cuddling bit. Children are cuddlier, I must admit.
  • Husbands: Actually just one husband.  He is here ALL THE TIME. All day. Every day. Constantly. He regularly attempts to engage me in conversations about things I have no idea about. Like finches or shares. He even made me feed his finches worms. This may be grounds for divorce. Did I mention that he is here ALL THE TIME?? Don’t get me wrong, I love the man. I’d just love it if he left the house occasionally too. Of course I’m conveniently ignoring the fact that he did go to Darwin for 10 days recently (which is why I had to feed the finches) and to Wollongong  just the other day. Minor details.
  • Mr 4 became Mr 5 yesterday.
  • Mr 5 had Kindergarten Orientation this week with two more sessions to go.
  • Mr 12 had High School Orientation with more sessions to go.
  • I bought a new Dyson. This has resulted in me momentarily becoming all domesticated and actually using it regularly.  I’m sure the novelty will wear off very soon.
  • I am trying desperately to regain Exercise Addiction. Between this point and the former, I fear the end is near.
  • I also bought some new saucepans. This was all good until I realised I had to rearrange the kitchen cupboards in order to fit them anywhere. And possibly even cook with them occasionally. Ahem.
  • Counselling- my regular counsellor buggered off or something so I had to start over with another one. Hmph. Then, after I had one appointment and booked another, they had booked me in with yet another counsellor. It’s like a game of Musical Counsellors. Awesome.
  • I finally rang up again about a so-called Adult Asperger’s Support group only to be informed by a woman sounding like a bogan Shazza (not that there’s anything wrong with bogans, of course) that the group was for carers of people with Asperger’s not people with Asperger’s. Natch. Why would we need support? We’re a bunch of self-absorbed, stimming, monologuing arseholes with no empathy. Silly me.
  • Wallowing ,like the big sooky la la I am. See previous two points.
  • Yet another L word – Lego. Dealing with Lego in some way or another takes up an extraordinary amount of my time. Buying it, assembling it, and cleaning it up from every corner of the house so I don’t suck it up with my Dyson.
  • Children: Yes I know I already mentioned them. But they really do take up SO MUCH TIME that I thought they were worth another mention. I’m not complaining about this. In fact, I’ve been deliberately spending more time offline in order to spend more time with my boys. This has resulted in the following games, mostly involving Mr 5 and sometimes Mr 9:
  • Pretending to be a dog. Mr 5, not me. I’ve gone so far as to actually give him water in a bowl. If I give him a collar and leash that would be taking it too far, right?
  • Pretending to be a bird hatching out of an egg and building a nest. Mr 5 again. Ditto, if I put him in a cage that’s going too far, right?
  • Hide and Seek- an old favourite. However, I can now no longer squeeze into the same hidey holes as I did when Mr 12 was little which is rather disconcerting. Apparently not quite disconcerting enough to make me pass on the cake for Mr 5’s birthday yesterday. Classy.
  • Blue screen of death – this happened with one lap top which means we have only one and Micky Blue Eyes uses this for work. So I miss out until we get another one. Sigh.

Therefore, I will most likely continue to be missing in action until Christmas. Oh NOOOOOOOOOO, I said the C word!!  I tried to cancel it but nobody listened!! HMPH.  Okay, that’s it until the next exciting episode of Days Of Our Bogan Lives. I will be busy with all of the above when I am not sulking  in the corner about my failure to cancel Christmas. Sniff. 

Later, dudes.

What has been on your bullet list lately?

*The fact that I could sum it all up in one word did not stop me from banging on with another nine hundred or so. You’re welcome.



Reactions:

14 comments:

  1. Well - I missed you Ness and I wondered where you were. Dont stay away so long next time eh?

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    1. We are a one computer family presently so I may continue to be MIA for a while. It's nice to be missed, though. Thanks, love. xo

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  2. At least now we know why you have been MIA !!! And by the way - just in case you forgot - I am totally with you on cancelling Christmas - send the paperwork to legalise it !
    I wonder if I bought a Dyson if I would become domesticated - may not try it just in case I do !!!
    Have the best day !
    Me

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    1. THAT'S where I went wrong! I forgot to send the paperwork!! Wait - where do I send it to?? This cancelling Christmas thing is harder than I thought.

      Yeah, don't do it! xo

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  3. Scolding yourself for being lazy had me cracking up. BTW I think I need a new Dyson too!!!

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    1. And a new maid to use it? Me? Lazy? No way. Ahem. xo

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  4. I noticed your absence too! Are Dyson's worth the horrific amount of money they cost? Have thought about one from time to time, but cannot ever bring myself to part with the cash :)

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    1. They most certainly have much better suction than any other vacuum I've had. I just have to be really careful not to suck up the million bits of stray lego around here!

      Thanks, Ace. xo

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    2. Haha! Lego is no longer an issue around here, but everything else is, I live with farm animals! xo

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    3. Come on, that's not really fair. To the farm animals. Children are much WORSE. Or is that just mine? Ahem...

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  5. I was thinking of something philosophical to say. Then you mentioned Legos.

    Oh, my son loves them and just when he acquires one set, he wants another one, like money grows on trees and he's starving for them. They're not cheap.

    Ever had a dream where you were drowning in Legos, where you were literally struggling to breathe? I haven't, but I fully anticipate I will before the New Year.

    Guess what my boy wants for Christmas? You guessed it! More Lego sets!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

    :-)
    Ben

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    1. Yep, I'll be having that dream too. I have two out of three boys who want more Lego from Santa. Not only are they not cheap but unless you have somewhere to put them like a display cupboard, inevitably they will be smashed and the pieces become mixed up. Sigh.

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  6. Oh, yeah, I forgot the bullshit list. I'll spare you the weary and mundane ones and just go to #1. I'm tired of the bullshit associated with trying to get on the KarenCarpenter.com forum.

    If it isn't one technical problem, it's somethig else. It's time to get it fixed or give it up. It's a great site, but there are just too many technical problems.

    Can't log on right now, so I'm really missing it; we were in the middle of a very good thread, when I was no longer able to log in. What frustration!

    Ben

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    1. Oh no! I haven't visited the site in ages so I wasn't aware there were still problems. Not sure if you have a Facebook account but if so there are several fan groups there with great discussions going if you're interested in those as an alternative. One called Newville Ave is a great one or Karen Carpenter Magazine. There are so many! Maybe I'll see you there. xo

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