Thursday, 15 August 2013

Passions


Those lovely ladies known as the Lounge Lizards apparently want to know what I’m passionate about. Well, duh, as if it isn’t obvious.

CAKIES!

From a young age I was always known for two traits. My unrelenting drive and passion. For cake. Or chocolate. This has propelled me to the dizzying heights (who wouldn’t be dizzy, with all that sugar in your system) I’ve reached today,  as a professional Fatty Boombah Bogan.

This was emphasised to me by an anecdote related to me by my mother of the time when I was around the tender age of three, or perhaps four, who knows. You expect me to remember back that far? I can’t remember five minutes ago!

Anyway, evidently Mum had taken me out shopping and paused to have a coffee. However, I had other ideas.  I kept repeatedly asking for “Something nice,” emphasising the word ‘nice’ with a posh little plum in my mouth.  This refrain went on for several minutes, while Mum attempted to enjoy her coffee.
She tried to ignore my demands. Undaunted, I continued my efforts.

“Mummy, can I please have something nice?”
Finally, after another five minutes or so of my constant nagging heartfelt pleas, Mum eventually threw me a sachet of sugar.

“Here,” she said, exasperated “have this!”
My little three year old eyes fell on it. With a tone dripping in condescension and derision I  scathingly declared:

“BIG DEAL!”

I was cute once. And I wanted something 'nice', not
a sugar sachet! HMPH.

How dare anyone thwart me from having my desired and much sought after slice of cake! CAKE, I say, not a silly old sugar sachet!

In between my frequent cakie consumption, I could be found curled up with a book, my other passion. Sometimes I traded the book for our dachshund dog, Samantha. I tried to smuggle Samantha into bed with me once. When Sammy went to doggy heaven, along came Penny and Skippa.  I was devoted to those dogs. The fact that I never had to actually clean up their crap probably added to their appeal. Penny and Skippa went on to have pups. In an essay written for school about my life, I remarked that I’d never seen anything cuter than those puppies ‘not even a human baby’.  Clearly I needed to get out more. Or all that sugar was affecting my brain. Or both. Regardless, I was besotted with books, dogs and cakies.  Not to mention chocolate.
Me with my mullet perm and Skippa, circa 1985. Classy.

My passion for baked goods and all things chocolatey, continued on in my teens when I proceeded to take the old ‘Mars a day’ slogan quite literally. I devoured a Mars Bar every single day after school, while remaining annoyingly slim. Annoying to others, I’m sure. Annoying to me now, knowing that this phenomenon will remain firmly back in 1985, along with mullet perms and bubble skirts.  The latter two can stay there. However, I want my fourteen year old metabolism back, thank you very much. Hmph.

Perhaps continuing with the syrupy sweet theme, I also developed a deep and abiding love for Carpenters music at around age 11 which has continued onto this day. This is yet another lifelong passion.  Ironically, Karen Carpenter died from an eating disorder shortly after I fell passionately in love with her voice and music. This meant I was now passionate about cakies – and the World’s most famous anorexic, something only I could achieve. So ner. After all, while others worried about trying to save the whales or the ozone layer, SOMEBODY had to focus on the important issues. What could be more important than cake and Carpenters? Don't answer that...

Then, one day, years later, there came an epoch in my life.  A ‘bend in the road’ as ‘Anne’ would say.  I was unable to become pregnant and it appeared that a little bit of weight loss might help the situation. Surprisingly, I was able to develop a new passion, a very unexpected one. Exercise.

It worked, and one by one, babies came along. With each subsequent baby my passion for exercise waxed and waned. Meanwhile, my devotion to cakies and chocolate continued unabated.  After all, I could have given them up, too, but I’m no quitter, as they say. Whoever ‘they’ are.

My singular determination and unremitting pursuit of all things sugary is what has shaped me into the person I am today. An overweight bogan with high cholesterol who knows the words to every Carpenters song. Not many people can boast about that.  Shut up.

Not to be beaten, I am now determined to reclaim my long lost passion for exercise. After all these years it appears that my love affair with cakies and chocolate must now tragically come to an end. It’s not me, it’s them. While I have passionately loved them, it appears that they do not love me. Cue hysterical sobbing.

It turns out that there is one thing that I am truly passionate about.  Yes, even above and beyond cakies and Carpenters. Three things, actually.  Three of the most important people in my life.  My gorgeous boys. I love them passionately. For them, I will give up (or cut back, anyway- ahem) on cakies. I will even move my rather large arse and break a sweat everyday, until it becomes slightly less large.  I will do it because I passionately desire to be around for a hell of a long time, to see them grow up and possibly even be a Grandma one day. 

And if I do live to be 80, then I'm eating cake EVERY SINGLE DAY until I die from a diabetic coma. You can't stop me.  

Linking up with Slapdash Mama Sarah for The Lounge.


 
Also linking with Cathy from The Camera Chronicles for Flashback Friday.


                                                           What are YOU passionate about? 
Reactions:

32 comments:

  1. You and Marie-Antoinette apparently (beware of mobs outside your window - if the revolutionaries are coming, my advice is to high tail it out of there - it won't end well!)

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    1. LOL! Good thinking, love. The only problem is can't run due to all that cake. Oh well.. xo

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  2. Haha to Lydia's comment! I too have a lusty passion for cakies. Unfortunately I never seem to have developed a passion for exercise, which seems really very unfair. I mean, I've done it occasionally, but VERY RELUCTANTLY. Hence my spreading bottom.

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    1. Yes, it's a shame that it's not something that could be done in our sleep. Sigh. xo

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  3. Your passion for cake is inspiring! And I applaud your goal of copious cake into your old age. All things in moderation until you're about leave the mortal coil I say.
    And I must say thank you for sharing that 80s pic - just gold :) x

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    1. All things in moderation, including moderation...

      I love embarrassing myself with old photos. Not sure what that says about me...

      Thanks for reading. xo

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  4. You have all the right priorities, Ness. Rest assured that you are far from alone with this weight struggle.

    There is an irony about Karen, you, and cake. Maybe you were unconsciously and partly making up for some of the cake Karen would never eat

    This is normally a time when it's hot in California where I live. I usually diet at this time. I have a lot of stress that I'm dealing with right now, and the diet is on hold. There's just too much to go into here.

    Be careful what exercise you choose to do. Things like running can have a down side; I know people who have wrecked their knees and hips from running. Walking is safe, natural, and will take you into old age. I prefer it. A good pair of walking shoes is all you need. It's a great thing for dealing with stress too.

    Anyway, I know that I tend to get long with my posts, so I'll just say that I love this post of yours.

    Ben

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    1. Yes, I prefer walking or low impact aerobics.

      Hoping your stress load lightens. Thanks for the kind words.xo

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  5. Man, I would have been totally stoked about the sugar sachet!! I think I was deprived on the cake front.

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    1. I'm feeling VERY deprived at the moment. HMPH.

      Thanks for reading. xo

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  6. Mmmm cake - I love it - and the way you right - it's just so raw and real and makes me feel like I am sitting beside you listening to you speak! Bloody sugar - and if I live to 80 I'm going to drink sherry from 10am to 4pm every day!

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    1. LOL! Sherry and a daily cigarette. I'm sure I've seen old ladies on the news swear by this.

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    2. I don't speak much at all in person, Em, so I guess writing is way to express myself. The sherry idea sounds great too.

      Thanks, Em and Robo. xoxo

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  7. What a lovely description of your journey of passion! Now I seriously feel like some cake! I can't say I have a passion for exercise, but I have something of a passion for self-improvement at the moment which is helping. My grandmother lived into her 90s, smoking all the way and very much believing that you should do whatever the hell you like once you're over 80. It works for me!

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    1. Your Grandma sounds awesome. Works for me, too!

      Thanks, Lara. xo

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  8. Everybody loves cake! It sounds like you are being pretty hard on yourself at the moment. If you found a passion for exercise previously, I am sure that you will find it again. I wish you the best with that journey - I know what it feels like.

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    1. Thanks Katy, am getting there. I've exercise everyday this week! xo

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  9. Damn cakies why couldn't they just realise that if they loved you as much as you loved them, then the love affair could continue forever. Silly cakies.

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  10. I dont like cake, or doughnuts or slice or anything like that. But I make up for that by being completely addicted to chocolate. I get that desire for sugar, all right. Have never been addicted to exercise, wouldn't mind trying that for a change :) And I also thought animals were FAR cuter than humans till I grew too of my own. To be honest, I still find some animals cuter than some humans. Thanks for sharing your passions, you always make me smile :)

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    1. Ha ha, I knew what you meant.

      Now I feel like, cake, a doughnut, a slice AND chocolate. Sigh.

      You're probably right that some animals are cuter than some humans. Plenty of humans walking around who seem to be proof that we evolved from apes. Ahem.

      Thanks, Ace. xo

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  11. I love cake and making cakes - my passions consume me just as much as I consume them - it's tough ;-( - luckily I have lots of cakie loving friends to help me eat them.

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    1. I could get into baking as a hobby, but I'm not going there, too much temptation. Sigh.

      Thanks for reading. xo

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  12. Hi Ness,

    This is Ben's wife. We have a lot in common. I like to bake and eat my goodies. I'm not keen on exercise for exercise's sake. I love dachsunds and had one as a girl like you. The world is a truly small place; I feel like I have a twin in Australia. Good luck with the diet. I'm trying to eat healthier too.

    Carolyn

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    1. Hi, Carolyn, lovely to hear from you. It is hard to get motivated, isn't it? Since it's a beautiful day here in Sydney, I think I will go for a walk.

      Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. xo

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  13. Love sugar, though not in cake form, chocolate and cola (real cola, not that other stuff) are my Kryptonite. Passionate about my kids, books and movies, pretty much in that order. On that, I wouldn't rush out to see Elysium. I guess it had to happen finally, Matt Damon starred in a very ordinary movie.

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    1. I love coke too, especially with scotch in it. Love books. Don't go to the movies much. Mick and Mr 12 wanted to see that. Might tell them to wait for the dvd release. Thanks, Ace. xo

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  14. I love cakes too but I prefer them as plain as toast, lol. I scrape off any icing and just enjoy the pure taste of the cake. No cream, no choc sauce, unless the cake didn't have a nice taste then ok I will cover it up haha.

    You can bake your cake and eat it too :)

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    1. I love ALL THE CAKE. I was having way too much of a good thing. Sigh. Thanks for reading and sorry for the late reply. xo

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  15. That is a wonderful post - I needed this pick-me-up today, thank you!
    You keep enjoying those cakes - and exercise!

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed my ramblings. Thanks, Jackie and apologies for a late reply. xo

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