Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Creepy Crush

As usual this slack arsed, bogan bitch did not get her shit together and have a post ready to link up for I Must  Confess yesterday. So naturally I'm doing the lazy bogan thing again and coming to the party late. But that's alright because the party doesn't start until I arrive, right? We all know I'm such a party animal.

Let's get straight to the point because I'm sure you've all been waiting anxiously for me to disclose the celebrities that I think are sizzling HAWT.  Well, here's the thing. I must confess that I've always been the one who usually just doesn't get it when other women are drooling over a celebrity.

This dates all the way back to when I was a teenager and all the other girls had major crushes on Simon Le Bon or Jon Bon Jovi. Yep, it was the 80's. Meanwhile, I wasn't remotely interested. I've never really been into 'pretty boys'. I don't want a guy who is prettier than me. Let's face it, that wouldn't be hard. Ahem.

My bewilderment over pretty boys has lived on the present day and I simply DO NOT understand all this fuss over Ryan Gosling. Oh, okay, he is hot. However,  that character he played in The Notebook is fictional ladies. It's just plain silly to have crushes on fictional characters, right? Oh wait..

After having a brief crush on Balmain Tigers player Wayne Pearce at around age 12, a few years later at the tender age of 14, the mini series (remember mini series? You're showing your age, if you do) of Anne Of Green Gables aired and I was smitten with Jonathan Crombie, the Canadian actor who played Gilbert Blythe. Of course, I had already been smitten with the character out of the book for years so it wasn't much of a stretch. Yes I know I just mentioned that it's silly to have crushes on fictional characters. It really is. But that didn't stop me.

Please call me Carrots, Gilbert..erm I mean Jonathan...


In the series, and the book, he called Anne 'Carrots' because he wanted to meet her so much and Anne cracked her slate over his head.  I wouldn't have minded if he'd called me Carrots. I've been called worse things. Such as a 'red headed rat rooter'. Classy.

This wouldn't be the first time I would fall in love with a fictional character. Who could forget Colin Firth as the enigmatic Mr Darcy in Pride & Prejudice?  It's not weird to have crushes on fictional characters, right? Nope. No way. Not weird at all.

At least not as weird as my most enduring and intense celebrity crush. A fascination and devotion that borders on the intensely creepy side.

Karen Carpenter.

Yes, I've had a massive 'girl crush' on a dead celebrity for 30 or so years. Shut up. I mean it, shut right up. And I'm not the only one. So ner. You know who you are, fellow Karen worshippers.

It seems weird, right? But if you take away the anorexia and the hideous 70's fashions and hair styles wasn't she just as cute as button? No? Hmph. Who asked you anyway? Oh, I did. Right. Well, I stand by my fascination. You can't stop me.

 
Besides, who could rock double denim like KC? 
Is it wrong to wish you
could have been that dog?



 
Groovy. Far out, even.


That little girl is such a bitch. Hmph. Should have been me.
The fact that I would have been a baby then and wouldn't
remember it now is completely irrelevant.
 
 
More recently, I happened to watch some of the documentaries by British television presenter and writer, Dawn Porter, and because she is a brunette who had this cute retro style and vibe going on she kind of reminded of Karen, therefore I developed a milder 'girl crush' on her. Ahem. Anyway. this is interesting because it turns out that she is married to Bridesmaids actor Chris O'Dowd, and despite deciding that that movie was a bit ordinary I decided he was a bit of alright. So, I'm just it putting it out there that if this particular couple is ever interested in a threesome, I'm totally up for that.* Because I'm certain that an overweight, middle aged bogan would be their first choice for that scenario. Can't think why not.


What a cute couple. I mean hawt...
And that is quite enough of my creepiness for one day. Or an eternity, really.
 
*Not really, we all know I'm too much of a Pollyanna. But I just wanted to leave you with that disturbing image. You're welcome.
 
Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess.
 
 
 
Which celebrities do think are smokin' hawt? Or, you know, you just have a disturbing fascination
with them for no reason? Or is that just me....
Reactions:

24 comments:

  1. LOL - as always you provide entertainment for my day !!!!!
    I know KC but as for anyone else - I have no idea who you are talking about (yes I do live under a rock - LOL !!)
    Have the best day !
    Me

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    1. I'm glad somebody finds this crap entertaining!! Thanks, love. xo

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  2. Whoa! I am rarely surprized by blogs but you did it today Ness. OMG.

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    1. You know me, Mumabs, always deliberately being shocking and cutting edge. When I'm not being boring. Which is often. Ahem.

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  3. I have a crush on Martin Clunes - it's wrong and it's weird and I'm ashamed ....

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    1. That IS weird. My 'girl crush' on a dead celebrity is totally normal and acceptable by comparison, right? Okay, maybe not...

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  4. Great crushes Ness, I never really got the whole celebrity crush thing, I was too busy crushing on boys in real life lol!

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    1. The boys I saw in real life were not Gilbert Blythe, so I didn't. Sigh.

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  5. This is awesome Ness!! Laughing out loud as I read it! No shame in crushing on any of these I think - Karen Carpenter was an incredible talent!

    I didn't know who Chris O'Dowd was until I saw him in The Sapphires & I thought he was great! Definitely a cute couple ... ahem, i'll just leave it there! :)

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    1. I didn't know he was in The Sapphires. I'll certainly have to watch it now! Thanks for making my KC crush seem okay. Ahem.

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  6. If we're digging around in the archives, I must say I was smitten with Gregory Peck back in To Kill A Mockingbird. And that was in black and white!

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    1. Gregory Peck was totally smokin' in EVERYTHING.

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    2. Oh YES, Gregory Peck definitely had something about him. Agree.

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  7. I LOVE this and I get this too - so you are not creepy at all to me! I also had a big thing for Jonathan Crombie (there is a reason I call my eldest "Gilbert" on my blog!). Similarly I had a big thing for Timothy Dalton after he played Mr Rochester in the 80s BBC adaptation of Jane Eyre and of course I LOVE Colin Firth as Mr Darcy...swoon... I had a girl obsession too when I was young on Rebekah Elmaloglou from Home and Away - she was everything that I wanted to be as a teenager! Thanks so much for linking up and making my day - you are so right, the party did not start until you arrived Ness!

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    1. I love that you call your son 'Gilbert'. So cute! Yes, I think we wouldn't be the only ones who noticed Jonathan Crombie at the time and Colin as Mr Darcy. I've noticed a few of us have 'girl crushes' so at least I'm not the only one. Ahem.

      Thanks for saying I'm not creepy, I was a bit worried that I went overboard... xo

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  8. I love Chis O'Dowd, and as I came to him thru the IT Crowd, I'm glad the 'nerd' is finally leading man material! The Geeks shall inherit the earth, I say!!

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    1. Yes, I'm going to check out his other movies, that's for sure!

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  9. Ohhhh Darcy! Why didn't I think of him.

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    1. You were too busy counting your jackets??

      He IS dreamy isn't he? *swoons*

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  10. Fictional characters I crush on - Daryl Dixon, obviously (not Norman the actor, mainly because he smokes, and that's it, dead in the water, about as attractive as watching someone eat a shit burger), Heathcliffe, yeah I know he's fucked up but at least I don't fancy Mr Rochester who was all kinds of weird, and oh yes Mr Darcy, thanks very much :)

    I am also now completely infatuated with Matthew McFaddyen (who did a rather nice run as Mr Darcy himself not so long ago with the weird chinned Keira Knightley as a very average Elisabeth)in the series Ripper Street. He can inspect my murder scene any time. Hmmm, that's not quite what I was aiming for. Never mind, thanks to Teegs for pointing me in the direction of Ripper Street, I do love a chance to watch Mr McFaddyen in action - plus it's a ripping yarn...

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  11. Glad I'm not the only one who finds smoking a complete turn off. I will have check out Ripper Street and Matthew McFaddyen, I'm not familiar with him...'he can inspect my murder anytime' Ha! Kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it?

    And yeah Keira Knightly looks like she's channelling Karen Carpenter. I know, I shouldn't make anorexia jokes, but damn that girl looks like she needs a good feed.

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    1. Here's a little bit of the otherside. You Aussie women may or may not be happy to know that I like Nicole Kidman. I also like Marissa Tomei. I'm fascinated with Karen Carpenter too. She's quite a lovely woman, but that voice is just too delicious.

      You Karen fans know that Karen loved baseball. I've seen her wearing baseball gear, and I really like her with that dusty, baseball look. I just got to like a girl who isn't afraid to slide into home plate.

      Call me weird or call me anything you want, but best of all I like my wife and don't say aw. She has many of Karen's qualities without the wonderful singing voice.

      Ben

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    2. Oh, I have so much in common with Ms Kidman! I'm also an Australian woman - and I have red hair! Okay, I have nothing in common with her...

      Marissa Tomei is gorgeous, too.

      And I WILL say it- awwww that is lovely, that you say that about your wife. xo

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  12. Here's something I wanted to write at the KCF site, but it looks like it has disappeared. Like Karen Carpenter, my wife had anorexic tendencies when I first met her.

    When I first met her, she demonstrated some signs that reminded me of a TV show I had seen on anorexia. I asked her about it, and she admitted to me that she was for a while to the point of becoming anemic. Her family intervened and I helped her.

    I remember holding her in my arms as she cried. I let her know that everything was allright, and I cared for her because of who she is and not what she looked like. I then began to reinforce that thinking by supporting her in a development of a healthy weight. I'd tell her that if she wanted to lose weight only do it for health and not to look like a model. She had a little premature gray hair, and I told her not to dye it. I think you get the idea. It worked, and luckily her family's love and my love were stronger than the urge to starve one's self.

    It really saddens me to think of the pressure that women must endure over their appearance. Though I know Karen is now better off and heaven is a sweeter place with her in it, I still get a tear in my eyes sometimes when I think about what she went through and the tragic results of her self inflicted starvation.

    All you women out there, take it from this man. Don't worry about it too much and forget the starvation. Find a supportive man, if you don't already have one, that will love you for you and not for some unrealistic fantasy model he wants you to be.

    Ben

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