Monday, 1 April 2013

Devoid Of Devices

Here we are in 2013. The 21st Century. In a time and place where devices reign supreme. There are gadgets and gizmo's galore. Okay, I don't actually know what a 'gizmo' is, I just liked the sound of the word. Oh, alright, it's not actually a word. But I still like it. So ner.


These are my only tablets.

Disclosure: This is not even
remotely a sponsored post, though
I probably should be
sponsored by Nurofen, since
I keep them in business.

I must confess, I just don't have any devices. Apart from the ubiquitous lap-top. Nothing. We use a pathetic old Nokia phone. Between the two of us. It doesn't even have a camera on it.  Pathetic.  I possess no Ipad, Iphone or Ipod. The only tablets I have are Panadol or Nurofen.

I keep the Nurofen company in business. Yep, plenty of those kind of tablets. None of the other. It's too bad really. In fact, I'm not even entirely sure of what a tablet device even is. Ahem.


Actually, I don't even have a GPS. I still rely on the good old Gregory's Street Directory. Am I a dinosaur, or what? It's just not good enough. I simply need to get with the times. What on Earth is WRONG with us? We still have not become Cashed Up Bogans who text each other from separate rooms of our gigantic McMansion.

The McMansion we don't have..to match
all the devices we don't have..

It's bad enough being technologically challenged in these times by a lack of gadgets and devices. It's clearly unforgivable if you call yourself a blogger. I'm a phoney, guys. I'll be disowned by the blogging community after this confession.

 Furthermore, I supposedly have Asperger's Syndrome. I know. Perhaps my diagnosis should be questioned? It's not possible to be 'Aspie' and a technophobe, is it? As I have previously stated here. Yet, somehow I manage it.  You know, just to be different. Such irony. I could accept being a quiet, introverted Aspie if I was a technological genius along with it.

I'm not really sure how we have managed to survive such a serious lack of devices without exploding and dying.  I haven't even managed to take a selfie ever in my whole life, which is just all kinds of wrong when you're a blogger.  After all, I need to take my narcissism to the next level. You're all dying to see artistically lit photos of the bangers and mash we have for dinner, right? See what I'm depriving you of?

Since I have no devices to confess, for  the sake of further confessions, I will confess that I forgot to put out the Easter eggs for the boys yesterday morning. I simply slept in and when I awoke Mr 9 wailed: "The Easter Bunny didn't come! Ripped off!"  Then he burst into tears. Oops.

Some time later, I convinced the boys to check outside to make sure he hadn't hidden them out there, then Micky Blue Eyes hastily grabbed the eggs and shoved them in various spots around the house. That bloody Easter Bunny. He had better get his act together next year. Hmph. Ahem.

Then, Mick decided to take the boys to the Easter Show and I decided to stay home. I must confess I only felt a little teensy bit guilty about it. It was a tough decision. I could go to the Easter Show where there are rides, which I detest. Crowds, which I loathe and the lovely aroma of animal shit interspersed with Dagwood Dogs. I could trudge around dodging said shit, while the boys moaned about every single thing they wanted OR I could stay home. By myself.  Tough one, eh?

 I couldn't actually remember the last time I have been home completely alone. Just quietly, I revelled in the solitude. Does this make me a bad mother? I think it makes me an Aspie who is also a mother and I have to do the best I can to cope and having quiet time helps me cope. Quiet time that I rarely have. So, I tried very hard not to be guilty.  Deciding a glass of wine may help me with that, I poured one. Then another. Suddenly I didn't feel guilty anymore.

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess.



What devices do you have? Go ahead, make me jealous...

Reactions:

23 comments:

  1. Love it. I seriously laughed out loud especially at the end with the glasses of wine - I'm hearing you there!

    Thanks for the great read, although I just can't even begin to imagine my life without the obligatory iDevices! Perhaps you could conduct interventions with people like me!

    G. xx

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    1. Ohhhh what a great idea! Device Interventions! That way I can 'help' you with your addiction and help myself to your gadgets..muahahaha

      Thanks for reading. x

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  2. Last year when I got my first idevice I thought I was the last person in the first world to do so. It is so reassuring to now know I wasn't!

    Oh and you are by no means a phoney blogger in my books

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    1. Thanks Rhianna. I'm sure I'll get around to all these gadgets oneday. Maybe. Who knows? Gah.

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  3. So glad to find I'm not the only blogger that doesn't have gadgets! I have a PC and an iphone and that's it.

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    1. Oh well, you have one more than me anyway lol

      Thanks for reading. x

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  4. I might have devices but I do not have a GPS - I'm old school in that way, at least. And we didn't have the Easter eggs out either, but luckily I haven't really gone into detail about the Easter Bunny so we got to 9.30am before any of them asked for Easter eggs. Unfortunately the late start to chocolate consumption still did not prevent the almost obligatory post-Easter spew...yeah, that was fun to clean up last night ;) Thanks for linking up again Ness!

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    1. Ohh, yuk! Yeah, not fun at all. Fortunately none of that here.

      No problem,Kirsty I enjoy the link up. Thanks for reading. x

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  5. It seems you are less alone than you thought. I too have a laptop (not Mac) and one iPhone. My sons have more devices than I. The younger one to assist with communication however as he has Down syndrome so seemingly legitimate Lol. But I too relate more to the solution to ridding oneself of guilt! I had two glasses of "Guilt Rid" tonight in fact! Great post and a warning for the future, once you do go to the dark side, there is no going back ...

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    1. Ha ha..hopefully will make it to the dark side oneday. I think it's great that a device can help your son with communicating. Very legimate.

      Yep, good old 'Guilt Rid' lol. Thanks for reading.x

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  6. Hilarious! tablets=Panadol ha ha..Don't feel guilty about the alone time. Every mum deserves some quiet time (and a drink of choice!) I am surprised about the lack of devices though...Apple had better give us a discount next time we buy something thanks to hubby's addiction

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    1. Yeah, we are so behind the times. Sigh. I hope we'll catch up oneday. Thanks for reading. x

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  7. I'm a technological junkie...it's BAD! Once you start, you become thoroughly addicted and cannot breathe without one attached to you. So, in all honesty, you're probably living a slightly less neurotic life than the rest of us! Don't blame you about the easter show - we went for the first time this year! It was great but we won't be going every year lol. As for the Easter Bunny, well that just reminded me of the time the tooth fairy failed to show up - ahem...

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    1. Yes, I'm sure I'll end up addicted oneday. I once used to hate Twitter, and that certainly changed!

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  8. I applaud you for your lack of technological gizmos! I think that's awesome! I think as a society, we are too dependent on "being connected" all the time -- and I have to deal with it at work too often... Which is why, when I get burned out, I feel the need to do a technology detox and basically pretend like I'm living in the year 1955 or something. Good times... and yes, I have issues.

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    1. I think that is actually a good thing to do. I think I'll be joining you in 1955, or can we make it 75, so at least there is Carpenters?!

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    2. 1975 would totally work! We'll sport super-cool '70s styles and go to Carpenters concerts! How fun would that be?! :)

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  9. Hi Ness! First time reader of your blog and ill be back. The unsponsored post was hilarious. I love gadgets but hate the Easter show. Am waiting desperately for jorno.com to come out - its a wifi collapsible keyboard that fits perfectly to an iPhone. But may not be best suited for your current dinosaur set up. No offence love. You're funny. Who cares where you write. X

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    1. I even write with pen and paper sometimes too. *GASP*

      Thanks for reading and your kind remarks. x

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  10. I'm a gadget junkie like Cathy above. I feel anguish when a new model of the iPhone or iPad comes out and I can't have it. I yearn for the end of my mobile contract so I can upgrade.

    Re alone time, never feel bad about that! Revel in it. Alone time is made more wonderful by the fact you only get it very rarely. If I was alone all the time it would suck and I'd get depressed.

    FYI, you are one very funny bogan. ;>)

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    1. I think it would be very easy to become addicted. So perhaps I've been spared that so far...we'll see...


      Yes, I'd certainly go nuts without alone time, but wouldn't want to be alone all the time either.

      I'm glad I make you laugh. :)

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