Tuesday, 1 January 2013

The Meaning Of Life Is....42


Apparently it is now 2013. All the fireworks and doof doof here in Boganville last night, kind of gave it away.  Meaning, there were slightly more fireworks than what we usually hear every night. Anyway, I should probably wish you a Happy New Year. So I will. 

Happy New Year! May 2013 see all your dreams come true and Gangnam Style finally dying a long overdue, painful death. My neighbours very helpfully decided to blast it at around two seconds past midnight. Yeah, the 500 gazillion, trillion times I heard it in 2012 weren't quite enough, thanks very much. 

Anyway, being January, it probably means I should take the Christmas tree down. Eventually. It also means I will be turning 42 in approximately 14 days. Supposedly this is the answer to the meaning of life. 42.  According to Douglas Adams anyway.

It’s been a while since I read the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy series (since high school in fact) , so I can’t quite remember the finer details.

All I remember is these two things coming up at some point in the series: the answer to the meaning of life is 42 and the phrase  Don’t Panic!  Both of which are relevant to me presently as I tend to be overly panicky and I will be 42 very soon.

Therefore, I expect I shall suddenly possess the wisdom of the ages. Have it all sorted. Stop panicking? That would be good.

That, or I shall suddenly stomp off to Greece on a  holiday, a la Shirley Valentine, leaving my ungrateful family behind blinking. I remember watching that movie  a very long time ago and thinking that 42 sounded really old. Yet here I am. Really old.

The thing is, I couldn’t stomp off to  Greece even if I wanted too.  My children are not grown up. I have a four year old. I am destined to be mistaken for his Granny by the time he is at school. Sigh.

There is also another reason I couldn't stomp off to Greece. Or anywhere. It would scare the bejesus out of me.

Jetsar, fasten your seatbelts, here come some scary Bogans again. But,
I have tragically never been on flight by myself.
 
The truth is, I am (almost) 42 and have never even been on a flight by myself. I know, tragic, aren’t I?

I have also never:

·         Smoked a cigarette

·         Taken illegal drugs

·         Had a bikini wax

·          Or even a leg wax

·         Been so drunk I’ve thrown up or couldn’t remember it

·         Seen a dead person (unless my not quite cooked baby counts)

·         Had a career

·         Bought a car

·         Had a broken heart (unless losing my not quite cooked baby counts)

And I still can’t:

·         Make eye contact

·         Talk/communicate

·         Have a successful job interview due to the above two things

·         Sew a button on

·         Be organised

·         Make scones (well,I can,but they don’t rise
 
*   Make anything remotely edible, according to my boys anyway

·         Make a decision about the slightest thing, even what to have on a sandwich

·         Have a needle or blood test without freaking out

·         Ditto dentist appointments

·         Programme the dvd/vcr

·         Do anything whatsoever involving technology

·         Read a map

·         Reverse park (sorry, I’m letting down the sisterhood, admitting these last two. Admitting all of them really)

Anyway, we could be here for another 42 years. You get the idea.
I have been on a plane, just never by myself. Once with my parents and lots of times with Micky Blue Eyes. And then with Micky Blue Eyes and the boys. Which is ever so fun (insert sarcasm here).

So naturally we are doing so again and flying up to Queensland on January 8th. There I will spend my birthday. I expect it will just be another day and I'll feel exactly like I did the day before.

Completely clueless. Thoroughly inept and inadequate in every facet of life.

But at least I'll get to have cake.

And I’ll just have to keep remembering: Don’t panic!


What have you never done? What IS the meaning of life? Just kidding. But if you really have it figured out I’d be interested!
Reactions:

13 comments:

  1. I've never been on a proper family holiday with DP and DS. It might seem like a small thing but it's something that I really would love to do. You know going somewhere and doing the whole touristy thing. Visiting places and showing DS the sights.

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    1. I'm sure you will get there one day! Our family holidays are usually, erm, interesting, like the time I dropped my mobile in the shark tank at Sea World lol

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  2. Ness, great minds think alike. I did a very similar post for my 42nd birthday back in September. I hope you can get some small comfort from the fact that Mumabulous will always be older than you. All the very best to you and your fellow bogans for 2013.

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    1. Seriously? You don't look 42! I must go and read that post.

      Happy New Year to you and your family too.

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  3. Happy Birthday, enjoy your holiday!!

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    1. Thanks Ann! It's a great excuse for cake! Like I've ever needed one...

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  4. Happy birthday Ness! I hope you get to enjoy your birthday in QLD - I hope being away from home doesn't dampen the boganess of your celebration! And I'm pretty sure you're not inept and thoroughly inadequate in every facet of life - you are pretty damn good at blogging, you know...

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Kirsty for the birthday wishes and kind remarks regarding blogging! xo

      PS. I'm sure we will end up at an RSL club or somewhere bogan like for my birthday lol

      Delete
  5. You're doing alright, all things considered, who makes the rules anyway and decides what we should do? So long as you get to do the things on your own, personal bucket list to hell with what others might think. I am not admitting to the things I have done on that list since this is a public place, but I will say I have never ever had anything waxed except my eyebrows once or twice. I'm actually not very hairy, which is probably more than you wanted to know, but as you are aware I am the queen of over sharing.

    Hope your birthday is lovely, when it comes, and that it is less stinking hot and humid here in Qld for you when you get here.

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    1. Ha ha, now you'll have me guessing which things I think you may have done...

      It's very hot here anyway, it can't be much worse up there. Can it?

      Thanks for the birthday wishes. x

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  6. Happy birthday, Ness!

    I quite enjoyed your lists - I too have not had a bikini wax (scary!) and I really suck at reverse parking... And I shall forever be indecisive...

    Anyway, enjoy your holiday!

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    ReplyDelete