Saturday, 4 August 2012

To Be A Bogan, Or Not To Be A Bogan? That Is The Question

As you know by now, Micky Blue Eyes, the boys and I live in the truly glamorous area of Sydney I've called Boganville.  The blog title is a bit of a give away. 

This begs the obvious question.  Are we, indeed, bogans? I must confess, I'm not really sure that we are.

I am currently sitting here in my most alluring outfit of old tracky daks and a polar fleece jacket that I have owned for years. In a home that is in utter disarray. A ramshackle old fibro box.  All extremely classy.  We will usually have some sort of elegant and refined meal for dinner. Like bangers and mash.

On the other hand, I'm not terribly fond of many of the things that the stereo-typical bogan supposedly is.Which, according the web-site Things Bogans Like include:
  • Reality TV
  •  Acca Dacca
  •  Tatoos
  • Meat Lovers Pizza
  • Pauline Hanson, and erm..
  •  Hot Asian Chicks

I mean, I have nothing against Hot Asian Chicks, of course, they're perfectly fine.  They're just not really  my thing, if you know what I mean.

The list is very comprehensive and can be found here.

Frankly I'm not even entirely sure what Dikileaks is, which is #205 on the list.  Can anybody tell me? On second thoughts, do I really want to know?

In fact the only things (or celebrities really), that I do like, after a quick squiz at that list, are Michael Buble and Sarah Jessica Parker, in spite of her alleged resemblance to a horse. I must admit, I am also rather partial to a mild curry.

However, not one of my boys has a rats tail. Or a wacky, weirdly spelt name that sounds like something out The Days Of Our Lives. Only worse.  You know, something like Blayze or Foxx or Jaxxon.  Apparently those are just some of the Baby Names Bogans Like, as well as:

  • Calcypher (I guess you could shorten it to Cal)
  • Caramel ( I thought this was a milk shake flavour, not a name. Silly me.)
  • Chaos (well, children do sometimes cause chaos so it could be apt)
  • Chardonnay ( Yes please, but chilled and in a wine glass, not on my child's birth certificate)
  • Frolic (once again, it could be apt where children are concerned as they often do. Frolic, that is)
  • Luscious  (Sounds a tad like a porn name, but maybe that's just me)
I could go on, but the list is rather long. 

In addition to my boys having boring names, I am so tedious and tragic that I don't have any tatoos or piercings.  To make matters worse, my favourite music is Carpenters. In other words, Nanna music or elevator music.  Doesn't exactly scream Bogan does it? (It may scream mega nerd from hell, but that's another story.)
A woman this classy
could never be a Bogan.
Nope. No way.

Of course, as the site points out, the old concept of the Bogan has evolved  from just the flannie wearing, mullet-headed, heavy metal loving, garden variety Bogan to the more upwardly mobile Cashed Up Bogans.  These Bogans favour McMansions, Masterchef and rather pretentious weddings.

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I did sport a quite fetching mullet-perm as a teenager, but that was when I was suffering from *TES, as opposed to being a bogan.

So, I can only come to the logical conclusion that this is yet another of those little ironies in my life. I'm a non-bogan living in Boganville. Yep, definitely not a bogan at all. 

Now that we've settled that, I think I'll go put my Uggs on, my feet are freezing.

*Tragic Eighties Syndrome

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess.

Do you like 'Bogan Style' Baby Names? Or anything that Bogans Like?


  1. Oh Ness, you always crack me up !!! I definitely don't think you are a bogan and, you know what, even if someone else does, I think you have an amazing gift with the way you write - and that is what counts in a blog !!
    Have the best week !

  2. Haha I am a classy bogan living in hicksville. Seriously this place could have it's own reality tv show.

  3. Sounds interesting. I'm surprised we don't have a reality show. Keeping Up With The Connors has a certain ring to it.

  4. Would Chardonnay be pronounced Cardonnay by any chance? Love the bogan names and love your bogan self! Thanks for linking up again Ness.

    1. Either way it's not really working for me.

      Thanks, Kirsty. xo

  5. OMG to some of those names. We chose fairly boring almost traditional names for our three girls.

    1. You didn't go with Luscious? THANK GOD. xo

  6. Gold Ness!! I love a good bogan name!! I wonder if any of these kids change them when they are older?? Just like Benson and Hedges might do when they realise what their parents did!!

    1. Benson and Hedges?! Good lord. Say it isn't true.

      Thanks for reading. xo