Saturday, 16 June 2012

Being Different & The Diagnonsense Part Two

It was convoluted path to diagnonsense.  Perhaps it was the fact that I turned 40 last year so therefore I decided to quietly have a mid-life crisis and ponder over my life like the deep and intellectual thinker I am. ie. A total off with the pixies space cadet.  But I was giving this Asparagus thing a bit of thought and then coincidentally picked up a book about it in Target  called Being Different by John Elder Robison.

I took it home, read it. Upon reading the diagnostic criteria I was fairly convinced I was Aspie.  I Googled a bit more which seemed to confirm my suspicions.  Funnily enough I'd seen counsellors and shrinks on and off for many years, yet when it came to this I basically had to figure it out for myself! It's amazing how people go undiagnosed for years, especially females. 

I trotted back to yet another shrink to receive the official 'diagnonsense'.  This involved answering a gazillion questions.  She then saw my mum also and asked her a gazillion questions. 

I suppose I could waste a lot of energy wondering if it would have made any difference knowing 30 years ago. It doesn't really matter.  That time is over. What matters is I know now. So I have to stop being so hard on myself and accept the way I am. Not make comparisons with outgoing NT people. NT means Neuro Typical, in other words those people without Aspergers.  I'll nick the term Nypical and use that, I think. Still working on that to be perfectly honest.  It's something I have to keep on reminding myself on a day to day basis.

It also turns out that I am in very good company.  Famous people in history who are believed to possibly be Aspie include Albert Einstein, Vincent Van Gogh and Wolfgang Amedeus Mozzart.  So clearly I too am a genius.  I have absolutely no idea what my genius like talent is, but any day now I'm sure it will become obvious. I hope. Maybe. Soon. Hmmm..oh well. Sigh.

As well as savant like talents or gifts Aspie people are known to have restricted and repetive interests that are often abnormal in intensity and focus.  This has worked out to be very useful in life for me.  My abnormal interest is of course...drum roll please...ta daaa! :  Carpenters/Karen Carpenter.

 Very useful indeed. I can helpfully remember the words to every single Carpenters song, yet I can't remember where I put my keys or glasses five minutes ago. Handy.

This obsession has also enabled me to participate in some intense forum discussions on on truly important issues such as the shape of Karen Carpenter's eyebrows and the relative benefits of Goofus vs Beechwood 45789.

For  the record, Beechwood is pure GOLD, I'm telling you, and that critic who said that if the Carpenters were going to record drek like that they should have gotten unlisted numbers, is a very nasty man indeed. Hmph.

After all they are the duo responsible for voicing THE most important question of the 20th Century : Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near?

I'm also completely useless at anything involving organisational skills due to impaired executive function. This is a psychological term which refers to organisational and planning abilites, working memory and other complicated stuff  that frankly I can't remember. See?

At least that's now my excuse, so I'm sticking to it.  I'd always felt that part of my brain was somehow missing, (the part that should be logical and organised) yet to try to describe this to anyone would just sound like I was making an elaborate excuse for being lazy.  Imagine my relief to find it was not a figment of my imagination after all but a real part of my Ass Burgers.

In finishing,I would  like to list these affirmations for Aspie's written by author Lianne Holliday Willey that I like to remind myself:

  • I am not defective, I am different
  • I will not sacrifice my self worth for peer acceptance
  • I am a good and interesting person
  • I will take pride in myself
  • I am capable of getting along with society
  • I will ask for help when I need it
  • I am a person who is worthy of others' respect and acceptance
  • I will find a career interest that is well suited to my abilities and interests (I'm not sure how this one works for me, don't expect there are many job vacancies for a Carpenters obsessed nut)
  • I will be patient with those who need time to understand me.
  • I am never going to give up on myself.
  • I will accept myself for who I am.
Yep, so I will accept myself for who I am.  A socially awkward, anxiety prone, Carpenters obsessed Aspergirl. Brilliant.

Linking up with The Lounge over at Musings Of The Misguided.

*Tries to think of a leading, thought provoking question to ask at the end of the post...and comes up with...NOTHING.* Oops. Um, why DO birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

What? Not a great question? Look, if it was good enough for Karen, it's good for me, okay? HMPH.


  1. Replies
    1. Yes, yes, yes! Your book is totally what led to me being diagnosed. Thanks so much! Thanks for reading my blog and taking time to comment.

  2. If you find a job vacancy for a Carpenters-obsessed nut, let me know! :)

  3. Will do, but you'll have to fight me for it! lol

  4. So what you are saying is aspergers sounds totally normal to me...but there you go.
    I saw this French performer who clearly had aspergers (or variant) and he had spent 2 years locked in a lab (or arts studio) and his whole show, which was mesmerising, was basically making objects balance or move in a motion that involved no margin for error, and crossing paths with less than a millemetre distance between them.
    It was exceptional. You could literally see how his brain worked, that when he looked at an object, the physics of deconstructing and reconstructing and putting it in motion came into his view.
    The irony was, the crowd went mad with applause, and when he came out to bow, he looked very uncomfortable and pretty much raced off the stage. No encore, nor even second bow.

    1. He obviously lost himself in it and forgot the audience. Great story. Thanks. xo

  5. I think those affirmations are worthwhile for both Aspies and Nypicals. But now I can't get that song out of my head "Just like me, they long to be...Close to you". They don't write them like that any more..sigh.

    1. I love those affirmations. And the song! xo

  6. I love your last comment! What a cack!!
    I think you're bloody awesome!
    As for the Aspie affirmations, some of those could quite easily apply to me too X

  7. I'm a neuro typical (whatever that means) and I like the Carpenters.

    1. Yeah, 'liking' the music to a degree is one thing, obsessing over every single song, album and detail of their personal lives is another. Ahem. xo

  8. I think those affirmations are ideal for many of us to follow! It is so great that you are embracing your differences, although some of them are not all that 'different'! Hmmm, socially awkward Carpenters fan? Check!

    1. Interesting that all these Carpenters fans are coming out to the closet! xo

  9. You are all kinds of awesome Ness! Enough said. :)

  10. You are awesome Ness! So glad that I came across your blog, it always puts a smile on my face xx

    Thanks for linking up with us at The Lounge

    1. Glad I found your blog too. Thanks Tegan! xo

  11. You are awesome Ness, if you were different you wouldn't be you.

    1. Yep, there's nobody quite like me, a Carpenters loving bogan is certainly, um..unique! Thanks, dude. xo