Saturday, 24 March 2012

Bad Hair Life

My hair is alarmingly grey. Presently, I desperately need to dye my hair and have decided on the D.I.Y version to save  a few dollars.  Micky Blue Eyes recently resigned from his job (recently as in six months ago) so this means I need to be thrifty and economical as opposed to the opulent, lavish lifestyle I used to lead.  Damn, there go the trips to Paris and designer clothes. Sighhhh...

Anyhow, I'm not sure why I even bother, over the years my hair has almost had a life of it's own.  First of all, it was interesting enough growing up being a 'Ranga' the scathing affectionate term for a red haired person.  This meant putting up with all the usual jibes like: "Red Head Match!" or "Carrots!" Or, my personal favourite: "Aw ya, red headed rat rooter!", as I was innocently minding my own business.  That, or they would gaze at my hair (when it was very long) with worshipful eyes, sigh and say: "Gee your hair's nice.  Pity it's not blonde."

On the flip side, occasionally some old dear would stop my brother and I to ooh and ah over our hair and announce: "People  pay a fortune to make their hair that colour you know." before slipping us the odd 20 cents.  Which was a fortune back then.  You could buy a whole bag of lollies with it.  Now you wouldn't even get a single black jelly bean.  

I've lost count of all the bad hairstyles I've had over the years.  I've gone from having very long, straight hair, long enough to sit on, as a girl. Then, quite long, with a daggy sort of a fringe (a bit like Agnetha from ABBA). Incidentally, why do Americans call a fringe 'bangs'?

Mullet Perm. I don't know why I'm smiling.

Then, I had the first of many truly hideous perms, including the woeful 'mullet-perm'. See above.  In my defence it was the 80's so I was suffering from a severe case of T.E.S (ie. Tragic Eighties Syndrome).  In my early 20' s I progressed to the spiral or 'poodle' perm when I was frequently mistaken for Nicole Kidman.  Oh okay, never. Not once. I still don't get it.  I mean, the resemblance was uncanny.
Nicole Kidman eat your heart out.


In my mid 20's I sported a preppy bob, and being the height of the X-Files craze I was frequently mistaken for Gillian Anderson.  Oh okay, only once, and the person was being totally sarcastic and me being typically Aspie, I didn't pick up on it.  So it was nice to have that illusion for a while.

At age 30, I sported a short blonde crop and a pregnancy I remained clueless about, but that's another story.   Yes, too many bad hairstyles and bad hair days to mention.

Blonde crop. Also pregnant and clueless. Noice.


The problem is I have absolutely no idea what to request at the hairdressers.  I totally blame this on some of the idiotic books I read as a girl. This time in the form of teen romances.  The heroine was usually a shy, nerdy sort of girl who gets dragged along the hairdressers by her more outgoing sister or bestie.  Once at the salon, the hairdresser takes one look at her and knows in a nano-second the perfect style and cut to transform her from nerd to fox instantly.  Suddenly revealing cheek bones she never knew she had and perfect almond shaped eyes.

Nerd-girl walks out of the salon a new person, gorgeous, confident and naturally she gets the guy. I kept on expecting a similar experience of being transformed from the tragic nerd I was to super chic.
Imagine my consternation when on one occasion, at around age 15, I was transformed into Leo Sayer with a singed scalp instead.

I was far too shy to say anything to the hairdresser who had blessed me with this beautiful look.  Instead, I actually paid them money for the indignation and scurried home, mortified.  My mum took one look and went ballistic, dragging me back and demanding they fix it.  They must have permanently damaged some brain cells with the perming solution however, as, years later I happily sported a do that wasn't entirely dissimilar.  I don't know what I was thinking.
To achieve this look simply channel Leo Sayer. Or not.

Some years after I had left a job, I met up with a former work colleague. By then, I had cut my hair short. Surprised, she commented "What happened to your curls?" I then told her that I  used to perm it. She clearly couldn't believe that I had actually paid money to have my hair look like that, replying "Oh, I thought it was natural." Nope. I did actually pay for bad hair. So, why pay for it, when I can acheive the same thing at home, with a cheap and nasty DIY dye job. I think I'll give the home perms a miss though. I am off to cling wrap my hair. Classy.

I STILL have bad hair, without the perms. Sigh.
.

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess.

 
I'm also linking up with Cathy from The Camera Chronicles for Flashback Friday, after deciding I haven't embarrassed myself quite enough.
 

 
 
Do you have a 'Bad Hair Life'? Or do you love your locks?  
Reactions:

16 comments:

  1. Rahahahahha, yes major T.E.S.!! And they are called bangs because they are so hideous they make you bang your head against a wall, wishing you more sense than to get them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As usual, I LOVE your post Ness - you make me laugh every time! I wish I could have found some photos of my older styles too, that would have provided some laughs, particularly when I tried to have a fringe in Year 7 - a curly fringe really isn't much of a fringe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kirsty, I"m glad I can give you a laugh. You really couldn't do anything BUT laugh at those hairstyles, I think. Tragic.

      Delete
  3. Mullet perm? Check. Poodle perm? Check. Short blonde crop? Check. I think we must have been twins!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, twins with TES, that's us lol. Thanks for reading. x

      Delete
  4. Hilarious! I always wanted a perm but my mum wouldn't let me. I've had long hair, terribly short hair, an undercut with steps cut into it when I was going through my gangsta rap phase in 1989 (while being a white private school girl). In 1988, when I was 14, I dyed my hair red using a body shop henna colour and everyone, including a dermatologist, thought it was natural. I had no idea that red was thought of as daggy or to be ridiculed. I've always loved red hair and refused to mock those with it. My beautiful son is a ranga. Rangas rule!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes we do! Long live the ranga! I used to use those body shop hennas too, strangely enough. It was like putting cow shit in your hair, if I remember correctly.

      I'd love to see all your different 'hair' pictures! They sound cool. Your Mum was very smart to spare you the perms.

      Thanks for reading! xo

      Delete
  5. I don't know what I was thinking when I suggested bad hair. I'm glad that one is over.

    I'm only just now catching up with my blog reading. I've also just added a giveaway to my blog which ends Friday morning if you are interested.

    Have a great week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hee hee, you're glad it's over and meanwhile, I might churn this post out again for Flashback Friday. After all, I haven't embarrassed myself quite enough.

      Looks like I've missed the give away. I'm always a bit behind.

      Delete
  6. I like your Nicole Kidman look the best. Closely followed by the blonde crop. I think I've had most of those hairstyles! Lol Min xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Min! Yes, the other two are not the slightest bit likeable in retrospect, yet everybody had those hideous perms at the time.

      Thanks for reading. x

      Delete
  7. Brave woman : ) I'm still debating if I should bring out the "hair" pics.......great post lovely, you always bring a smile to everyone's face xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Beck. Yes, DO IT!

      Glad to give you a chuckle. xo

      Delete
  8. lol I never tire of looking at people's hair photos! We were all tragically the same ;) Gosh, what possessed a whole generation to perm and tease to within an inch of our lives?! Thanks for linking up x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knowww, it's hard to believe, but it was actually fashionable at the time. I can't see it perms ever being in fashion again, but I guess you never know...

      Delete