Hello again. Here I am with some of my disjointed, ad hoc thoughts about belief...
When I was a girl I liked to believe that there really could be fairies hiding somewhere among the flowers in the garden, just like the ones I read about in Enid Blyton books.
I believed in the old 'they lived happily ever after...' myth at the end of every fairy tale.
As an adult, one thing I hate hearing is the old 'everything happens for a reason' cliche.
I do believe in laughing at how ridiculous life can be.
I believe in a good sneeze. But only with my legs tightly crossed because otherwise.... Well, you don't want to know. Suffice to say I'm a 45 year old woman who's had several pregnancies.
I believe that no matter how old you are you never stop learning, wishing, discovering things about yourself and life.
I believe that so many things are overrated. And underrated.
I believe that I am just writing rubbish because I don't really know what I believe. I'm very confused. This will not be new information to anyone who has read this blog before. Ahem.
I believe that what doesn't kill you does, indeed, make you stronger. And I'm strong enough now, thanks very much.
Of course there is the whole issue of belief in one's self. One of my major core beliefs has always been that I'm weak and a scaredy cat who can't cope with the grittier side of life. Time and again this belief has been proven wrong. See above.
The short answer is NO. There is a part of me that would like to be able to believe. It often seems that some people who do believe are able to accept and cope with the most confronting things; even death. They genuinely believe that it's 'God's will' and they're going to a 'better place'. I would love to have some sort of belief that gave me such a sense of peace and comfort. But truthfully it seems like nonsense to me.
Weirdly, I don't remember doing this when I got my cancer diagnonsense. Did I? I believe I was more matter of fact. My attitude was: I have to listen to the doctors and get on with it have medical treatment. That's what will save my life. Not God.
I've never been spiritual or cosmic or 'out there'. Although as I mentioned above, as a child I was much more whimsical. I am a mass of contradictions or dichotomies. I'm logical yet scatter-brained. See? That doesn't even make sense.
I seem to have become more attuned to paying attention to my logical side these days. Oh, except when I'm catastrophising... That's another story! But there is room for being fanciful. Some things do require common sense, others don't. It's no accident that the tag line of this blog is: In my own little world...
It's a happy place with cakies and unicorns. And, of course, Carpenters music. Some people believe Karen Carpenter is an angel. Maybe she is? Who knows? Again it makes no sense to believe this and not believe in God... But nonsensical ad hoc, irrational thoughts and musings are my specialty. We all have our strengths!
Anyway, one of my favourite Carpenters songs is called Look To Your Dreams...
To say I'm romantic would be quite semantically true
But make believe passion has fallen from fashion's milieu
It's understandable why we're a little confused
It's asking for trouble just watching the six o'clock news
But for a moment, all things aside
Look to yourself, somewhere inside
Look to your dreams
Don't they still seem worthwhile?
Don't they still seem in style?
Aren't you glad they're still there?
Look to your dreams
There's a need for them now
When the world has us down
Aren't you glad they're around?
Once conceived, once believed
Fantasy's reality's childhood
And like a seed, visions need constant care
Like a child would, we should
Look to our dreams
We can still reach the stars
We can still break the bars
We have built here on Earth
Look to your dreams
And tomorrow may be
Better for you and me
The future may say, blame blind yesterday
For taking dreams away
They could mean more than they seem.
Written by John Bettis, Richard Lynn Carpenter • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group
You will either feel uplifted or slightly queasy after that. Or perhaps a curious mixture of both? You're welcome.
Right. I'm off to
Linking up for Conversations Over Coffee and IBOT
What do you believe in?